Alone and Insane

• Artist: Seto Arisu
• Description: I wrote this during a severe storm, so I ended up tying in the rain to my poem. This explains what I was feeling that night, so it means a lot to me. I hope you enjoy.. Give me good criticism?
• Date: 05/15/2010
• Tags: alone insane

My voice and pain are drowned out
by the rain beating on the windows.
A thousand knives pierce my mind,
Destroying my senses and emotion.
Defeated, I stumble outside only to be pelted by icy water.
Soon I'm gone, another dead victim,
lying in wait for an undertaker.
Yet, it's all a hallucination
caused by my mental illness.
When I can bare it no more,
It'll kill me.

Comments

[Slinkenhofer]

If a thousand knives are destroying your senses, how are you feeling any of this?
Just a thought.

[Idiosyncratic Quirk]

Iono if it's just me, but the poem doesn't seem to have a theme. It's very direct, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. I could picture you making a fictional anecdote with this about why "I" am in the rain. This could use some work but it definitely is a good start.