Love is like a candle

• Artist: xX_Kozakura_Xx
• Description: I was wth a girl for a while and she was kind of moody, I was always scared that she was going to leave me every time she got moody and that's what inspired this.
• Date: 07/26/2010
• Tags: love like candle

love is like a candle
a bright light in the darkest of times
it feeds off of something
something that can't be seen
but everyone knows it's there
but give it to much and it burns out

the strange thing about a flame
is that it consumes so much
yet, it's such a fragile thing
with a well placed breath
it's gone in a puff of smoke
who knows where it goes

there's no real way to predict its movement
it dances back and forth where it pleases
all you want though is for it to keep burning
bright in the dark room
but when the wick runs out there's nothing you can do
for in a whisp of grey smoke
it's gone...

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Comments

[xX_Kozakura_Xx]

I love you. thank you for actual constructive criticism here, I'll take that in to account with future pieces.

[Yureiaa Hearts]

I love this. It's not span-perfect, but damn right effective. I understand exactly what you mean in this.

I'm going to be nit-picky for a second, though. Your introduction is great, but its my personal belief that in poetry, metaphors are stronger than similies. Compare: "Love is like a candle" ; "Love is a candle." I think the latter makes people think more deeply into what you mean, and the end result is a more powerful poem.