Under The Sakura Tree

• Artist: Apathetic Castiel
• Description: a sad poem i wrote. it has a dark, yet warm feel to it. i hope you like it!
  
  -Steal my work, i find you and kick yer bum!!
• Date: 06/08/2011
• Tags: under sakura tree

May i ask, do you remember me?
I was sitting outside by the tall sakura tree.
It was snowing
I asked where you were going.
I was hoping you'd notice my eyes
they were full of deep blue lies.
It was all for your sake
I was just Wondering what it would take
for you to notice me.

Another year's past.
I'm still unseen.
The only way someone's aknowledged is when they're being mean.
You actually care about people then.
And me, I'm ignored again.
I'm starting to wonder if anyone can see me.
Or if im just a ghost under the Sakura Tree.

Comments

[xX_luna_wolf_Xx]

Commenting back smile
I love it biggrin I love how its sad but theres also a sense of light in it too good work :3 5/5

[Euphoric Ghost]

Good job with the rhymes, though some of the words you used to rhyme felt like it was used for rhyming sake, like snowing. You could cut out some stuff as well that would make the poem still work, like deep blue, or shorten the 12th line since it's pretty long. Yeah. Try using words with purpose and efficiently; like what you did with ghost since it's symbolic and it says so much with just one word. Anywho, the message was carried through the poem, so it's good. :]