• when i was young my brother would push me around, i lived in texas, and then it all went down...

    i had a chain around my neck,
    all threw my short 13 years.
    i always was off,
    and never fit in.
    i had no friends, all could tell.
    my brother would laugh and make fun of me.
    i began to believe, all these lies that he made of me.

    i hate guys all threw my life,
    my dad would always fight.
    i even grew up with cold nights,
    if you ask why i cry on those nights,
    may b if you saw my memories, you just might.

    i ran around, following my brother, he was i had and no one other.
    he hated me, and always had.
    you cant say family loves you if they hit and bite,
    so how can you say id live tonight?

    i was all alone, my dad just left.
    mom moved to Las Vegas, the city of forgotten dreams.
    i was made fun of, called ugly, and fat,
    i never was thought i was skinny or cute.
    just being alone was never enough,
    so i drew cold to this helpless knife.

    i began to cuts, not just small wounds,
    but i would slice my arms all up.
    never thinking it was good enough.
    and still this day i look at my scars, not cutting no more,
    for all these years.

    id never eat, and when i did, id eat almost everything.
    i began to taste my food not just once, but more than that.
    a daily drill, of getting high.
    so when the time came, and the munchies arrived,
    id eat so much i could hardly survive.

    and when the day came i missed my medicine,
    some kids just said a few wrong things.
    i cried so hard, there words hit like a tun of bricks,
    so in regret, i grabbed my long lost friend.. that cold cold knife.

    i stuck my arm nearly 20 times.
    leaving blood streaks along the ceiling line.
    i took nearly over 50 pills.
    so dear brother is this good enough?

    no i live with scars all over my body,
    and even now ill still look down,
    and think when will it end.

    i asked him if,
    so dead and dear,
    was this good enough for him?

    no reply just a simple nod,
    and then i new i had to stop.