• Billy Mays, oh, Billy Mays
    on the tv on rainy days
    Oreck Billy could make anyone sigh
    girlies reach for the remote to try, just try
    and the dad for the phone to buy; that guy...
    Oreck Billy, he was okay
    A shack in Kentucky, lookin' out on the bay
    oh, and this vacuum cleaner here; an' that bag o' Lays
    s'all got your name on it, so said Billy Mays
    Your money back, and none of it down
    Would I ever lie to you--Would a happy man frown?
    by the time Oreck Billy's old eyes were glazed
    --starin' and glassy,
    but still just as classy--
    That vacuum cleaner was an unlikely craze
    but it's raining again, man, and I'm waiting for you
    I'll buy the damn thing, just come back, Billy Mays.