• Tired of life. Loveless, alone, hopeless romantic, striving to not struggle.

    Sometimes I stay up all night for no reason listening to the trains go by as I continue to work up the courage to lay my neck on the railroad line.

    I been trying anti-depressants, but each time they're changed they always don't work yet always do the same which is not work.

    The dreams I have if I can sleep are only nightmares. The only reason I eat is because I don't enjoy the feeling of starving. It's near impossible to stop breathing. After one failed attempt of dying my sleep meds were taken away.

    Professionals rather I suffer long my whole life instead of a short day. I'm told by others that tomorrow will be a better day.

    It's always the same with how I feel: unloved just wanting to disappear.

    Whenever I try to succeed I fail. Whenever I try to stop trying to succeed I fail.

    I thought I understood people. I thought I understood life. Women say they would date me, but if I present any interests towards them they refuse to give any response.

    I never enjoyed the feeling of cutting. Could never find a nice ledge for a rope.

    Each time I'm brought to a hospital I'm tortured to boredom so I can admit I'm okay in a place where they refuse to let me die... Then I'm let go back into the open world so I can feel the same on meds that never seem to work.

    I don't really want sex. It's enjoyable, but pointless to me with another person I hardly know.

    I just want a hug from someone that truthfully loves me.. like how my mom did when I was a very young kid.

    If there aren't any volunteers to put a slug in my head, preferably with a shotty, I'll just keep working up the courage so I can stop acknowledging I'll never be loved again.

    The last thing I'll see, feel and hear will be the first thing I ever loved which were trains if no one can fire a fingerprint less bullet into my noggin in a far away region away from town.

    Then again I would like my body to be buried... And let my divorced parents be given the last opportunity to see me away with words of love that I'll never hear..