• My brother
    was never the kind to cry.

    So when I caught him in my room-
    cheeks stained from hours of weeping,
    I was petrified.

    I knew the reason for his gut-wrenching sorrow,
    but I couldn’t bring my mind to acknowledge that I caused this.

    I willed my body to move toward him-
    but my feet were nailed to the same spot
    in the middle of the room, holding me down.

    I watched my own flesh and blood
    break in the very threshold I was taken away.

    And, for the first time ever
    get to his knees and pray,
    “God, please bring her back, please.”

    but, when I pleaded to him, “Ryan,
    it’s okay, I’m okay now,”
    my words didn’t make it to
    his ears, they only clouded
    my eyes with tears.

    Because how is it possible
    to hear a soul so lost,
    it had removed itself from the world?