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Lost in the Shadows of my own Thoughts |
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Well lately has you all may know i have been acting very emoish, for reasons beyond my control, although i'm trying to be happy, the tears just won't stop pouring, i'm happy that i can still be here for Sara as her best friend but it seems my subconscious mind is still feeling the effects of the break up very hard. Well on a lighter note, i saw Sara again yesterday, it was good to see her again, although i ended up shedding a few tears again, but overall it was a very interesting day, and because of it, i managed to get a decent nights sleep, well other then the dream i had,
And although i am kind of hesadent to type it, i think its best to get it out in the open and off my chest.
Well it started off i was sitting on my front step, it was about the end of may, from what i could tell, around the 30h of May it was a sunny day but kind of foggy, and i was just sitting there witting something down, most likely a poem or something like that , well after about 5 minutes of that, a figure came out of that fog, it was Sara, she looked to be coming home from school, i looked up from what i was doing and said " Hey, How are you today?"
she said nothing yet just looked at me and smiled slightly then sat down next to me and hugged me, i smiled and put my notebook down to and joined the hug well after about a 5 or 10 minute hug she responded to my question and said " Well it was a bit stressful today, but I'll be ok" i gave her another quick hug and then said " So hows Sean" She looked at me and for some reason a single tear rolled down her cheek and then she looked down.
i kind of scratched my head not knowing what to say then just ended up hugging her again, that one lasted a good 10 - 20 minutes then to break the sad silence that had failed to end i said " So What happened" again she looked at me and i saw a few more tears roll down her cheeks, then i said " Sara i can't help you unless your willing to talk to me about it, i know its hard but, keeping it bottled up just makes things worse" next thing i knew she was holding on to me very closely and although silently the tears fell more rapidly until i could feel my shirt damp from her tears, i held her close, and rubbed her back,
she soon started to softly mutter to herself, then she said" Well last night, me a Sean were talking and i told him that i was having a hard time, dealing with not being able to see him and he told me that soon enough i wouldn't have to worry about it, and then got into a little fight about it and i told him not to bother coming up, and just like that we were broken up" i Looked at her and wiped away what i could of the tears and softly kissed her forehead then hugged her again and said" I'm very sorry to hear that hun" and she kind of looked at me and said " It looks like that praying you did worked"
i was stunned slightly and said" what do you mean?" then she said " Well i'm not with Sean anymore so now you can "win" me back" i Looked at her and softly sighed " I never wanted you to end up hurt in the process and you know that"
She just held me more, by now there was a large wet spot on my shirt from her tears, but i didn't care much about it, i just wanted to be there for her, after about an hour or so, i finally got her to laugh and smile a bit, then with the little money that i managed to have i took her out to get some ice cream,
she smiled and although i could still see hurt in her eyes i knew it would be alright, after that we went back to my house, it was about 5:00pm now so we sat in my room and talked about things, then i lifted her glasses off her face and placed them on my side table and looked into her eyes, they were brown, now as you may or may not know Sara's natural eye colour is green and the only other time i had ever seen them brown was when i saw her for the first time after we had broken up, well after a little bit, of looking into her eyes, i was overwhelmed with and urge, and so out of no where i kissed her, on the lips, she and i were both shocked by it, but it lasted a few moments, then she and i both smiled and she took my hand into hers and said " Sam. i'm know that this is kind of earlier for me to be saying this but, would you consider being my boy friend again," At that point i looked at her and said " I wouldn't have it any other way" after that we kissed again, and then hugged, a little while later i looked at the clock and saw it was six and said " Well i guess its time for you to go home eh?" Said frowned a bit and said" yeah i guess so" she stood up and picked up the phone and called home,
After the call i looked at her and said " If you would like i'd love to walk you home" she smiled at that and said " That would be great" So we left my house once we here ready and on the way home we talked and a few tears fell from both our eyes, but by the time we reached her house we were both laughing and smiling, when we got there i sat down on the porch and said "i should improbably go straight home, i mean after all this, do your parents really want to see me?"
She laughed softly as smiled then dragged me inside, oddly enough we eat dinner and then went to her room and talked things over, at 8 when it was time for me to leave i put my jacket on then walked outside, Sara soon followed me and we held each other on the porch, then she kissed me, and out lips joined for quite a while, then i said " See you tomorrow?" and she said " Will see, i might have some stuff to do after school" with that i said "Alright then, i'll talk to you tonight then" and set off for home. It didn't end there as you all might thing, the next day when i awoke, in my dream, it was about 3:00pm and Sara had left me a message on Gaia saying that she couldn't come over, sighed but went on with my boring day. then about 7:00pm i got a call from Sara who was in tears she said " Sam could you come over, Sean called, and we got into this huge fight and well i need someone right now, mainly you" i said " I'll be right there" and with that i hung up the phone and grabbed my bike and raced over there, Sara was sitting on the step when i got there, and i hugged her close and kissed her forehead and we talked, we walked about what happened and then after a while i finely got a smile out of her,.
We hugged and kissed then said goodnight because it was like almost 10:00pm by the time that happened and so i held he close and kissed her, with such passion, and love that you would swear that i was the essence of love. well durring that kiss is when i woke up in real life.
I was pretty shocking of a dream. i have to say that i am shocked mainly at the langth and the fact that i could remember the whole thing when i awoke, and that i did mange to sleep so long with that playing in my head.
Well i hope you enjoyed this entry and i hope it made sence, this being my longest one yet.
For Channel 13 news, this is Raven Dragonfire Signing off.
a quick message to Dwayna Dragonfire: " you said all dreams have meanings X_X please tell me what the heck it means because its confusing the hell out of my brain and it hurts my poor simple mind.."*
 Raven DragonFire · Thu May 10, 2007 @ 05:43pm · 0 Comments |
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