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Today was the last day of school, it was great all we had to do was watch movies and play video games. It was great! I suck really badly at Guitar Hero I and II. Lol I mean, BAD. So yea but I still had fun. I can’t wait till tomorrow! We are going to Adventure Land for band because we won Pancake Days! It was great we kicked Putnam County’s a**! WHOO! So I can’t wait! It will be so much fun! I am going to ride a s**t load of rides and hang out with Carly and stuffs! It will be so cool!!!!

Yesterday, I couldn’t get a hold of Andrew. I tried and tried and all I got was his voice mail. A few times it actually rang but for the most part it was just his mail. I was really, really worried about him. I was kinda irritated too because if something was wrong with his phone he could have used his brothers, or house phone, or had a friend send a text, something! Then I thought maybe he was ignoring me but there is no reason for him to ignore or be mad at me. I was really upset because I have no other way to get a hold of him!

Today, I got sick of this no way to get a hold of him and I thought, “I need his home phone number…” Then I was like, “But I don’t doubt I’ll find it.” I put several things, together such as he called his little brother, “Lil’ Jeff.” So I assumed there had been a Big Jeff. Which could be a grandfather but I was more less assuming it was his dad. I remember that his dad’s last name is Evans. I remember that because I had a “friend” who last name’s Evans as well so that kinda stuck. Then I did my search with his address I found a s**t load of Cottrills and then I found Evans and I was like, “There! There!” Then I clicked the thing and it said, “$39.95” I was like, “Bullshit!” Then I looked at Yahoo people. Found the number and then I called it well right now he is at work. They don’t know when he will be home. So I can’t call anymore because I don’t want to wake up Jeffery. So I really hope to talk to him tomorrow but considering I can’t talk to him I have NO idea when he will be home and what is wrong with his phone and all that great stuff. So right now I am at two possible reasons for this. A, he is ignoring me. B, something is up with his phone. I am guessing B because there is no reason for him to be upset with me.

So today I was browsing around Gaia and I was looking through some journals. Then I saw Dakota’s and I was really pondering if I should look at it or not. Then I noticed several of these little comments:

“Then, Friday, I finally read Cassie’s journal, and that really pissed me off. Read it today too, again, a really pissed off me.”

This actually made me smile because if you have been checking out my journals you’d know that I totally burnt him like burnt toast. Basically I think he is pissed that I told him the truth what he did. I can’t believe that he had the balls to be pissed about that too!


“I’m writing a book called Fear; it’s based on an rp on Gaia called the Demonic Dorms. I also made a guild in honor of the thread it’s an rp too. Every one thinks the book has a secret meaning, in a way, it does. The characters are me, and a few of my friends, and the one girl I can never find in this hell of a life I’m forced to live. One who’s nice, caring, and sweet, one who will never hurt me, nor I her, one that can accept all my issues, and see the man inside, past all the pain, and love him.
I’ve never really felt loved till this summer, with Cassie, but that was nothing as I’ve come to realize. I mean, how could it be if she got over me that fast?”

Now this made me cry/laugh. I was rather upset. I was just downright pissed. I totally ******** dwelling on him for 2 months. I never, ever stopped loving him and he doesn’t even know. I hate him so much for saying that I got over him fast. He was the one who didn’t care if he thinks that I got over him fast. He was the one who didn’t give a s**t, and he was the one who ******** up the relationship. Yes, I made mistakes I can admit that and I don’t have a problem at all. I was in the wrong ‘cheating on him’ I was in the wrong there. But I did love him. More than he ever loved me, more than he will ever love someone else. I swear to god that I would have been willing to spend the rest of my life with him. You know, he changed the Dakota I fell in love with is gone and I fear he will never return. When his mom got pregnant, he changed. He totally and completely changed and he wasn’t the same. He was mean. He’ll never be what he was to me even if we did for some reason “get back together,” yet I don’t for see that happening at least not until he matures some. At this very moment I don’t think he is ready for a relationship.