Well, I just might need to take a break from the internet all together. It will be weird cuz most of what i do is online. I do gaia, conquer, sometimes rose... i visit message boards... if i wasn't online..i would probably be bored. i mean.. i can read to naaman.. but he needs to change activities every thiry minutes. he doesn't really stick to anything long enough for us to enjoy doing it together...
and then someone said this awful thing to me recently... they told me that i'm not a real christian because i had naaman... so, like because i sinned and did something wrong.. that means i've damned myself for all eternity??? that is so not right. i mean... what is a real christian? according to the bible and the way i understand it is someone who just follows after Christ.. a person who takes on his ideas and ways.. and lives them out... that is a christian. but unfortunately, the person who said this has met a lot of people who gives them the idea that a christian is only someone who is strictly good at everything and never does anything wrong.. they are perfect and snobby and want to cause division between themselves and others for sake of religion... and even tho it's not true... and i shouldn't let it bother me.. the idea that someone would say that just really causes me a very deep hurt. I tried to talk about it with them.. but when i try to explain how a real christian is.. they don't even want to hear it.. they have all their preconceived ideas and notions that are misnoted... and the person who said this is a close person to me... and i felt so bad they would even say that.. as most people who know me know how important my spirituality is to me... something i do not take lightly.
then again, i guess i don't really take very much lightly.. that could be in part why I get all entangled in lots of messes... I am as many know me to be.. extremely obsessive compulsive... and.. I just.. get into something.. and geez.. i should try to work on it more.. as if i could just let go of some stuff before i do it to a point where it hurts me.. i mean.. at the rate things are for me.. in about twenty years, i'll be on some serious prozac because i'm sure as time goes on.. something's gonna have to give and sometimes i am very worried it will be my mind. As it is.. lately, my memory and headaches continue and increase. i really need to get some medical aid and get that looked at.
 Graceangel · Thu Apr 21, 2005 @ 08:08pm · 3 Comments |
