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The friend of mine who's leaving seems fairly adament about writing from where she's going to be, and quite frankly, this is the first time I can say, "Ditto". She's the only person I've actually wanted to keep in touch with since I left California and 'my best friend', who refuses to write me anymore. My assumption had always been that all people were transient, unless you were lucky enough to find someone, whether you're in an intimate relationship or not (seems somewhat irrelevant to me, but I apparently assess that differently than the rest of society), someone that you actually like enough to keep in your life beyond that which is forced on you, or that which is necessary, or that which is tactfull. If at all possible, I'm am intent on keep in touch with my friend; people like her... Are few and far between, to say the least.

For the rest of society, well... They still like to assume that I'm a sex-centric pig that can't see past the thin veil of flesh and hormonal lust. It absolutely infuriates me, and all I argue gets turned into my desperate attempt to look 'different' or 'moral' or some other stupid crap. They make the supposition that all males think the exact same 'thing', and that we... I can never change. And what's worse are the males that support such pathetic generalizations; they use it as a pathetic excuse, a delusive collection of words justifying their superficial nature and their real lack of subject matter and/or verbal prowess necessary to hold any meaningful conversation.

"Nice weather, lets ********," NOT A RELATIONSHIP! IT'S NOT MY RELATIONSHIP, THAT'S FOR ******** SURE!... Pun intended. I need substance, I need someone I can hold a conversation with, someone I can really be attracted to as a whole, not as a composite of finely though effectivelly randomly shaped organ(s). I want to like the person, not their body, yet no one can seem to grasp this ******** concept!... That time, the pun was not intended.

I seek real conversation, or even mild conversation, and get only the all-to well-known cold-shoulder of societal alienation; I start on any subject of relevance, and get a flat, meaningly shell of a reply... "...Yeah... OK." I crave the intellect of which so few even see of value, much less have any interest in listening to or acquiring themselves. And when I refuse to babble on their meaningless forms of I.Q. crushing, neo-modern drivel, I, once again, find myself estranged, on the fringes of society, often mocked and ridiculed. So I introvert, I recede into my own psyche; I metaphorically recoil at the abomination of intelligent conversation society has skewed into regular convention. I psychologically vomit with disgust, reguritating all that which I desire to scream into their faces, yet lack the opportunity or will to do so.

I let them see only the glimpses of myself which I find 'radical' enough to further alienate myself; allowing only the most twisted and disturbing thoughts to escape the encapsulating prison of my mind in an effort to quell my desire to actually verablize my fellings, my emotions, my... Utter and unrefined disgust.

Of course, no one will know such. No one would even if they were on here, I doubt they would read my composition, and even if they did, I doubt they'd get this far. It's all introspection, and I realize that... Realized. To be perfectly honest, I've gotten to the point that I barely care. I don't... I don't care what they think of me, I don't care to seek out that which I am deprived of... I don't care what I think, because it's a moot point. It won't change the world, and neither will they. The only real point I would guess is to have as much fun as possible before you die, because, after all, we are akin to the flicker of a candle in the most massive of hurricanes... Eh, I'm probably thinking too much; at least, that's what everyone else would tell me, xd :...