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A Harsh and True Realization of Myself |
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I'm a little depressed right now, my life is a little screwed up, figured that out when i cried myself to sleep last night. I couldn't help it, i saw all my problems just arise and take over and brought a lot of realization to my eyes. I'm a screw up, i just give people more pain, no guy will ever want to kiss me, i'm always in the way and annoying people, and i'm going to die a datless, kissless wonder. So much for my revelation. God my life sucks. i hate feeling like this, but it's all the truth, i've realized it and i guess i should accept it and wait for the day i'm lowered into the ground. i cna't wait to just get away and forget all my problems for 13 days. unfortuatly, i have to come back. I want God back into my life, but i can't bring my faith back. I've lost it, more or likely, forever. All my hope and faith is dead, i'm now dead inside. i just wish, one good thing would happen in my life, just one. Even if it's for a minute, that's all i want. Something like the characters in my story come to life and we go on a wonderus adventure, or the guy i'ved liked for so long, truely looked at me. But that is a lot of hopeless dreaming.
I wish my life was like a fairy tale. If it was, at least i know it would end in "And she lived happily ever after." But no, those words will never describe me. i will live unhappily ever after. i know that seems sad and depressing, but it's true. I will never ever, smile for real again. They do in fairy tales, but that is just a dream that won't ever come true.
 Queen_of_the_Seven_Angels · Tue Jun 14, 2005 @ 06:20am · 1 Comments |
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