...Why live?
I've made no real progress in my life....
Nothing matters anymore...
I have no one to love...
I have nothing to keep me here...
my throat begs for the knife...
what else am I supposed to do?
Hell no one would even notice.
honestly I hope a car will hit me and I wont survive.
This life of mine...
Why can't I have happiness?
Why is there no peace in this unrest soul?
What condemned me?
What did I do to be condemned to this hell?
Everyone says I should be happy....
But how can I?
I haven't felt any true euphoria in years...
My life is slipping through these bony fingers of mine.
All I can grab is broken glass and needles.
I see everyone else able to grasp what I couldn't...
They can grab this smoke that eludes them everytime they breathe.
My fingers sizzle and sting when I reach to it...
I can't take it.
It must be nice to be happy...
It must be lovely to know what you really truly want...
Why is it so hard?
Why must everyone else around me be so certain of everything....
heck, I can't even decide the simplicities...
All I know now is that I'm lost...
When people look for me, they know where we are...
but why can't I see it?
I'm blind...
But to what? What is it everyone else is capable of seeing or having?
I feel like all this pain is just going to drown me...
I hope it succeeds....
but it never does...
It's just a faint blissful illusion.
What a lucky girl I am.
I have all I want materially...
But there's something that eludes me...
Something I can't pinpoint.
I would like a partner, that is true but it's not that important...
But what is it?
What am I missing?
What is the key I'm missing to the corridor of happiness?
What lies do I need to tell myself to keep going?
Heaven knows I've lived off one for years....
What is this thing people all over can achieve?
And yet no matter how hard I desperately reach for it....
What ever it may be....
Happiness is no where to be found?
What's wrong with me?
 Jello Challenged · Thu Nov 22, 2007 @ 05:03am · 0 Comments |
