I was walking around my neighborhood this afternoon and it was absoutly sparkling out. it was chilly, but sparkling. i was walking by an empty lot which has an old oak tree growing near the back and the rest of the lot is mowed (moed?) and manicured nicely. now, i live near a body of water (the atlantic, pacific, lake titicaca? who knows) and the sun was GLEAMING off the water and it made such a sureal scene that i just wanted to keep looking at the sun and the water and the tree.
it all looked so sublime and out of place- like something you might see on a movie set- because it was so perfect. it seemed as if the earth and water elements blended perfectly in the one place, and all i wanted to do what sit by the tree and sleep or read.
this was all going though my mind as i was walking by the lot.(...i think fast) and i realized that i just wanted to look at that spot for hours. this made me realize that i would go blind, but i thought "i would rather go blind than not see this in my lifetime." i would sacrifice my sight to just keep looking at this a few moments longer and keep feeling the emotions and peaceful bliss running through me. what good is my sight if i can't enjoy what is most beaufitul? Are there things in the world too beautiful to look at? isn't loosing your vision by gazing upon something beautiful the best way to let it go? would that image be lasting in your mind forever as you could only then see darkness? would the darkness make you aprreciate what you have seen even more?
or would you regret the gaze?
it's a waste to give up your vision for one scene, for one moment. what else could you have seen had you only been sensible enough to look away? why would you be so selfish to your own self by not seeing other things? your vision is a gift and you threw it away. now you sit in the darkness. never to see anything beautiful again. dark is all you will ever see. so this is what you've done with your gift. i hope you find the dark beautiul.
these are my conflicting sides to the inner workings.
 Qua Quidam · Thu Feb 14, 2008 @ 11:25pm · 0 Comments |
