Happy Valentines, yes.
Peww. I feel much better than before but I can't brush off the heartache. How ironic of all days, maybe.
I decided a few days ago that I want to give up computer time for Lent. Yes, I am Catholic. It's just that.. I want to prove that I don't need the computer. And I don't. I don't want to be the kind of person who logs on right after school And stays on for hours and hours wasting away precious time. I think it's sad. I'm sorry that if it insults anyone, maybe.
Most people have a bigger life than me.. Or so I think, yes. I want to prove that I can be a bigger bang than anyone else Because I can be a bigger bang than anyone else.
If I don't become rich or famous, then that's okay. I know that I'm a person who's achieved everything I really do want in life -- Everything I do need, maybe.
I'VE DECIDED! I don't want to be in love with anyone but my family! Papa's right, yes. I don't need love at this age from anybody but my family. It's hard, yes. I'll get through it, maybe. I need to concentrate on myself and only on myself.
I'm going to make myself a better person. I'm going to make healthy of myself. I want to be a role model to the people I hold dear. Influence, maybe.
I'm spending my time much better. I'm even starting to eat more. I'm happier without the computer, yes.
I'm still unsightly.. But I know that there are other people who are in worse than me Even the person I respected with the utmost.
I don't have to tell myself this over and over again. Because I will be a knotch above ALL the rest! I may not be popular, I may be the person in the background, But I'll make it. I know I will.
This leads to me having to convince myself; Friendship is a mere convenience on the way to becoming successful in both socially and mentally.
I'm strong! I don't need to drown myself on the computer! Although I have a small, simple life, it's bigger than all the others! I refuse to be a stay at home girl who engulfs herself nearly enitrely on the computer, yes! Determination!
Do I sound chippier now, maybe?
V Ko · Fri Feb 15, 2008 @ 12:16am · 1 Comments |