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Blindfold please. The future holds something. |
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In a couple months, I'll be going to high school. In four years from now, I'll be graduating high school and going on to medical school/college. I will eventually graduate from medical school and get my degrees. If I aim high enough and work much more diligently than right now, I might even be Chief Medical Resident working in a hospital. When I retire, I aim to work for the betterment of mankind -- as a medical professor/teacher, passing on what I've learned throughout my life.
That is what I aim for in life and will achieve one day.
People would ask me why I aim to be a doctor. They ask me why I don't become a designer or an artist or working in the creative arts field. I'd answer that it's not my calling. As much as I love to draw and design and no matter how much passion there is, I don't feel it to be what I desire out of life.
I feel as though I need to help other people. I hate people. They are "b*****d coated bastards with b*****d fillings" [- Scrubs] that do not know how to take care of themselves whatsoever. I shouldn't even be talking because I am likewise. But people do look at me for answers right now. Helping people is what I want to do. What's more beautiful than having the hands of some one that do something for the betterment of mankind, whether deservant or not? And don't tell me that it's love and all that crap.
I might excel in listening to other people's problems [therapist, psychologist] and have them tell me what's wrong in their life rather than in their body but I honestly can't stand listening to it day after day after day. I'm "afraid" that I might have to snap at them and yell in their faces about what's wrong, why it's wrong, blah blah. I don't have the patience to listen to life issues. Health issues, bodily issues, all of that I can handle. There's just that line there.
People would tell me that I'm only in it for the money. ********. No. As being a doctor, I am taking a lot of risks. People would look to me for answers, whether I had them or not. There is a chance that I might have the person's life in my hands. It's stressful. It's overwhelming. I'm not sure if I would be able to take my first kill. I'm not sure if I'd be able to take the failing of myself and the fact hat I've failed another person, even if I tried. Experiance will numb the pain but barely by a margarine. I want to be able to be helpful. These hands were made for something.
When I become a doctor, I'll be happy. I don't need a damn paper to prove that I can help people but I do need it to prove that I'm making something out of my life. It's my proof. Forget the money. I want to become a doctor for two reaons: the one I've mentioned over and over and, yet again, OVER again throughout this journal entry which I will not repeat. The second to prove to my family that I do have set dreams and goals. I don't need to prove to them that I do -- I just want to. I want to make my family proud of me. It's always been about Christy and Davidson, Kevin and Kim getting their dream, getting their goals, making something out of themselves. Maybe it's my time..
If you've made it this far without skipping, +2 respect points and -2 life points.
I don't believe in the 'ifs.' I will become a doctor, if not chief medical resident. I know I will. It's a lot more than a bit early but I'm just setting my goals up at an age you wouldn't expect for some one to anymore. I'm a modern old-fashioned girl, if that made any sense at all. I have my whole life ahead of me and death won't get the better of me until I am satisfied with myself and what I've done.
Dude, I sound like I'm already in med school and I'm in my twenties, maybe? Ehk. Lera is getting into my head.
Now that I'm done, I want to ask.. What are you aiming for in life?
V Ko · Tue Mar 11, 2008 @ 01:53am · 1 Comments |
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