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I feel so... NOT right now.
I've got a job interview Monday but I don't want the job... I want to continue doing the stuff I'm doing those days... I want to keep up my volunteer work, my hydro and my Bible study... this job would span the 3 days that happens...
Job guy i was talking to was all 'yeah, yeah go for it. go." But I'm not sure I want to do that. I need a physio visit big time. my legs crapping up was a warning... get self to physio asap. Besides the cafe work is pretty full on... usually and i don't know if I'm up for that. I hope i'm not getting cold feet over the job but I need to remember to put it in God's hands cause I object to change automatically.

It's not that I don't want to work... I want to find work I can do with out hurting myself... that I can do around my issues... I'm not sure I want a zombie person like me operating a hot coffee machine. sigh... I need to go though.
Even though my body and back are going stabbity stabbity stab stab.
I'm getting a lot of indigestion and i think it's to do with my back being seriously out.
most of the time over the last few days it's felt like I'm waring clothes that are to tight around the belly. i'm not, it's just that my back is pulling on things painfully.

Not at my best here. confused

then I get a rather snarky message (I gather we all did) from the leader of one of the guilds I'm in going post or get booted, I'm going to sell the guild I swear I will...
emotional blackmail much. I can understand her frustration at inactive members (like me) but I don't always WANT to go and be chatty. I don't like people demanding me of things and I value my alone time.
talk2hand

Still, joined to support her. confused

I feel so restless...
We're supposed to be going and seeing a waterfall. It's 20 degrees, overcast and blowy, the clothes I brought with me don't fit and my body hates me... also I'm stuffed and indigesting from church lunch. I'm just not as stoic as my sister. (whose period causes her misery as does mine) but she just goes on and dies stuff anyway. I'm NOT like that.
You'd think I'd be used to this by now but I'm NOT. I don't think I ever will be.
I guess I hate being roped into stuff and not having a way to leave if I want to...
thanks to a childhood full of it, I HATE being trapped in a place, forced to wait and rely on someone elses good will to go home or do what I want.
I LOATHE it.

clothes that don't look clash-tastic would be nice too. sigh.