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Last day of Fcat...i'm going to miss skipping SCTI to eat with my friends. Not as much as I miss those two though. My day went by slow. It was rather confusing. Seems someone really does want to talk to me. But about what I am not completley sure. It will happen eventually. But I can only wait so long before I go insane again. I wonder if she is still drastically mad at me? She seems to be having trouble. Something was wrong this morning but I couldn't place it. I want them to be happy. I don't want them to fall apart. I won't be there to push them back together again. Tell me why am I so ******** kind and forgiving? Where does it all come from? What makes me such a martyr for my cause? The way she looked at me.... I'm not sure anymore. But at least she will look at me now right?

Sam was feeling like crap today. Just thought it was funny when I offered her help and I got completley ignored. then Alex asked right after to me as if he was asking for me. Hilarious, she kinda snapped at him. See the thing is. She is trying to do this thing... and it isn't working for her. If you knew sam you would know what I mean. She will accept someone's help eventually. We all need help. Especially me. I just feel bad that she won't lt me be there for her again. But if I see her in pain again I'm going to lend my hand. Whether she ikes it or not. I'm always here and I can't stand to see someone hurt in any way. This girl... If you read the one journal entry you would understand...I can't let nything happen to her. But if she won't let me help....I pray someone else out there will be there for her, do anything for her. Because they care as a friend. Not for any other reason. I'm not obsessed. I'm not in love with her. Don't try to understand. Because even I can't.