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Being introverted as I am, I've always really loved self-reflection.
I've always really loved thinking about my personality and my general self so that I could be a better and healthier person.
Recently, I tried to force a friend out of his comfort zone in order to make him think about his personality and personal situation at school.
I realize now that it's just not for everyone.
He said I just scarred him. That he was in a cage, and I was poking and agitating him.
I thought it was a good sign. It meant that this person who is normally on the defense was going to be offensive for once.
Being offensive would pull him out of his comfort zone (my desired effect) and I thought would make him think about himself.
I only managed to anger him more then I've ever done.
Self reflection is very healthy, and it really can help.
But I suppose it can be just as damaging as it can be helpful if the person isn't ready.

I went about it all the wrong way, and now I fear that it has ruined a valued friendship.
You that I have hurt, you know who you are.
I only hope that you can believe me when I tell you how sorry I am that I tried to force this on you in the way that I did.
I am really and truly sorry for scaring you and making you so mad.
You dont have to forgive me.
I only hope that you will read this, and know how much it hurts me to think that I've ruined such a good thing.
I never meant for it to turn out like this, believe me.

I am so, so sorry that I did what I did.
and now, I'm afraid that it's to late to be sorry, or to fix the damage that I've caused.

I'm putting my soul out there for the world to see. I hope the one that I hurt can recognize how difficult it is to tell the universe that I was wrong, terribly, terribly wrong.

.:sPiDeR:.