Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

 
 

View User's Journal

To my thoughts and the people who want to know
A young one, three years from my former age. A sweet hearted girl with a blessed body. Her heart of purity, but a curious eye to see the new. Her love for me was filling and warm. I was thankful to have her as my own. Many have told me there was something to go wrong and I should abort while I fell in too deep, but I wouldn't let foolish words remove my arms from her. I wouldn't let go, but for as the tyrannical ruler over her wrapped her with distress, I knew it was time to let go, for now. As time went on I said I'd wait, but such a difficulty it was as I felt my lust for other women get the best of me. Never felt her lose my mind as I saw others, but as more and more I saw other women I grew sad wishing she were here instead of the broken replacements. As my heart grew sad and weary I casted her from my heart for giving me this pain and suffering. Chatting with her one evening I became cold and insensitive, trying my best to push her away from me for good. Deep down I could feel my heart crying out for me to stop hurting her, but I didn't listen I just continued to lash out cruelly without thinking twice. Though a while passed and I apologized, though forgiven I could not forgive myself, but as time progressed I let go of that hate for myself and we reunited as boyfriend and girlfriend. Passing a week it was different from before. An emptiness about our words, but as said, "I love you" the fullness was there, but her warmth changed as if lukewarm to a cold. Going into another week, I felt sadness and curiosity. As a result I marked myself of depression, it only got more serious from there, but soon simmered. From what had happened she told me she got a "Dose of reality." From there it only got worse. "I love you, but I'm too young to be in a long term relationship." She told me. Although I agreed I felt my heart shatter into bits. I told her I was fine and didn't hear from her for weeks upon weeks, but as those weeks went on water trickled from my eyes and I lost interest in things. Though as time went on I began to recover from this anguish. Then as I talked to her one day and she asked how I've been and I told her truthfully about what had happened and why I was pushing her away. Then she told me why she broke up with me and that she regrets it. Although I'd want to become her boyfriend again, I will not, for I have recovered and now I am ready to move on with my life. Though the option of friendship is always available.





 
 
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games
Mini-Games
Play with GCash
Play with Platinum