This is Evman. The day has been going rather slowly. I find myself drifting in and out of a tired stupper. I feel like I'm slowly turning into a mindless zombie. I've been wondering the halls of my college for hours trying to find out what to do. My class, which I only had one, was over 3 and a half hours ago. Since then I've been on and off the computers and generally procrastinating the s**t these teachers give me. I've realized this quarter I don't have but one class I truely seem to learn in. Between Color Theory and Typography I feel like I'm going to burst. I know these things like the back of my hand, why can't I just skip it and show them the power I truely have in my grasps? Maybe I'm just being over dramatic. I'm sure there is SOMETHING I've learned in these perpetual boredom machines. Let me think...hmmm...nothing comes to mind...

My mind has been jumping from thought to thought in between the long empty divides from my boredom. I'm thinking of some good comic book idea staring yours truely. Sadly I neither have the time nor the energy to do them. I've been concentrating on my quality of artwork in my comics. Since my stranious studies I have noticed a great deal more detail that I can keep constant in each frame. At least more than I used to be able to handle. I spend alot more time on each frame giving little details and I try different angles and lighting and shadeing and all that good stuff. I can see myself understanding and getting better. this is an encourageing thought.

I won another reward for a project I did back in highschool. You'd think I'd be proud of my accomplishments and don't get me wrong I'm very greatful for the chance to share something with the world and to be recognized for it...but I'm starting to think I don't deserve the praise. Sure it's a cute little story but the current amount of awards for it is a little over the top. I'm slightly embarrassed by its mediocure state even after altering it once to better improve it. I could do much better now. Not to mention I'm just tired of being praised for the same thing over and over...I feel like out of my many accomplishments thats the only one that's ever really been acknowledged. I fear it'll be the only one that'll be acknowledged. But tonight I shall go and be happy and merry and all thoughs things I do dispise. I shall bow and be proper for the sake of my parents. I honestly don't know what kind of place this'll be. I was confused on weither this is another award or if it is an animation debate which they use my artwork for something. I didn't quite understand when I read the email my old animation teacher gave me. We'll soon find out.

My rants on such a subject make me feel self concious. In all of that I do not mean to sound prideful or misleading. I really am greatful for my accomplishments...my bitchiness is not tords my accomplishments its tords the fear that it'll be the only one I get in my life. I don't mean to sound like I'm just flaunting it because I'm not. I'm really not trying to create an egoism....*sigh*...there is not saveing it...

Now I sound like a real Narcisis...

Trust me...if you could look me in the eyes...you'd see I have the respect for myself of a self concious pig with a obsessive compulsive phobia of filth.

Not Much more to report on this bright and painful Wedensday. And on that note auf wiedersehen.

With Loving Contempt,
Evman