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Greetings all. It's Josh. Told you I wouldn't write yesterday. Well, this is what happened. Me and my friend "Chris" went to Walmart. He needed some new shades and I(as anyone who knows me can tell you) am the local athority on the subject. While we were there, we picked up some cheep hockey masks from the halloween isle. After eating McDonalds, we went to the church. We rode busses to the farm we were going to. It was a 2 hour or so drive, but I had my c.d.'s so it wasn't bad. Once we got there we took a ride on a tracter, picked out our pumpkins, and I tried melt in your mouth(boiled) peanuts. Oh, yeah, and there were some animals that we could go see. Among them were two little pigs. I started telling the girls that there names were Bacon and Porkchop, and that we were going to eat them. "There used to be 5. Now there's two." "Nuh-uh!" "Yeah! Where do you think the hot dogs are coming from?" "No way!" "Yeah!" "...PASTOR! ARE WE REALY GOING TO EAT THE PIGS?" He goes, "Yeah. Hot dogs." I started laughing. One at that he played along like a good sport, and second at the little girl's reaction. it was priceless. Once we got down to the bon fire, I put on my black winter hat and black home made(but still awsome) cape, which made me look very much like Zoro. Everyone called me that the rest of the night. It was a little difficult rosting the hot dogs on acount of the fact that being next to the bon fire was like staring into the gate of the underworld. On girl actually said "I'm glad I'm not goin' to hell." After the fire died down a bit it was easier. After the dogs were the marshmelows. Nothing is more fun when it come to the out doors than setting marshmelows on fire, letting them burn a bit, then eating them. No gram cracker. No chocolate. Just pure 100% burnt marshmelow. Once everyone was distracted, me and Chris snuck away to get the hocky masks that we got. I hid mine in my cape. He hid his in his coat. When we got back to the farm, me and Chris swooped off to the corn field maze that was set up, so that we could find good hiding spots. When it comes to scaring people, just remember LST(pernounced "lust" wink . Location, Stealth, and Timing. I hid in the corn(wich was short, thin, and not very good for hiding) in such a way that the only way that a passer by could see me was after it was too late. Remember, I'm in all black, pluss hockey mask. That was Location. I had to crouch down in an uncomfortable was, and stay like that, not moving, and being perfectly still. That was Stealth. And when a person would come down my way, I'd wait untill they were right in fron of me, then shine my flash light on my face and screach a screach that haddent been screached before! It wasn't until after it was all over that I found out that we weren't allowd to have masks in there and that Chris had gotten kicked out almost as soon as he got in. On the drive back I lent my c.d. player to some kid. This is when it gets good. Now I'm sexist. In my journal entry "What they say" it explains why. Now I'm going to explain more. In the first 2 seats of the van(we took a bus and a van), there was the driver and his wife. In the next 3 seats were 2 popular, jock-like guys and a girl. In the middle 3 seats were 3 girls. In the last 3 seats ther was Chris, some dude, and myself. The three gothy, emoy, outcasty guys. All three of us are lonely as crap, depressed, and are having girl troubles. The 3 girls in fron of us have out the;ir cell phones and are texting...EACHOTHER...about how much they like the 2 guys in front of them. Mind you, this made us mad. So we started making fun of them.

Josh: Wait. You're texting eachother?!
Chris: Yeah. They are. About how much they like those two jocks.
Josh: WHAT?! AW! COME ON! ...That cant be easier! To text eachother like that. Each one of those buttons means like 5 or 6 or 11 different things. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8, H. O.k. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12, I. Hi. No! That isn't right. Why don't you just turn your head and SPEAK to eachother.
(girls didn't notice a thing)
Josh:...Hello! ...God didn't bless you with vocal chords so that you can type! ...I'M TALKING TO YOU!
Girl B: Doy you have a cell phone?
Josh: No.
Chris: You didn't put it in text format. They didn't understand.
Dude: Yeah.
Josh: You know, I think it's a great day in the history if humanity when vocal chords become obsilite. Hey Chris?
Chris: Yeah.
Josh: Do you watch Foster's Home for Imaginary friends?
Chris: Duh!
Josh: Do you remember that one episode with the scribles?
Chris: Yeah!(blows a rasberry)
Josh: That's what the world's going to be like. "Doing stuff is SO yesterday."
Chris: Yeah. "You wanna play? You wanna play? (snap) You. Go play with the boy."
Girl B: I'll talk to you. Do you have a cell phone?
Josh: No.
Girl B: What about you?
Chris: No.
Dude: No.
(She turns back around)
Josh: Just talk to us!
Chris: It's not in text format Josh! Just the three outcasts in the back. Just the emmo kids back here.
Josh: Oh, come on Chris. Emmo kids aren't real. Emmo is just a myth.
Chris: Yeah, we're imaginary.
Josh: You're no more real than Sunfle-Ufle-Guss.
Chris: Hey! Sunfle-Ufle-Guss is my friend!
(I hit the 3 girls on the head with my empty coke bottle. pause)
Girl A: ...Ow!
Josh: The wind did it!
Chris: It's just like at school. Me and you in the corner with all the other emmo kids.
Girl B: Do have friends.
Josh: Yeah. Chris.
Girl B: No, other than that.
Chris: Yeah. We have the emmo kids who cut themselfs and bleed and-
Girl B: They cut themselfs?
Chris: Yeah.
Girl B: .........(to girlA)Hey! Hey listen to what their friends do to eachother!
Chris: Nonononono. They cut THEMSELFS. Not us.
Josh: Yeah. They don't cut US. No, but wait. But wait. No listen. Listen to how you made it sound, like they're in a zoo or something. "Ew. Look at them...Look at the emmo kids over there. Ew, look at them. Look at how they eat ew. No. No don't feed them. Don't feed them. No don't. Look at the sign. 'Don't feed the emmos'."
Chris: (laughs)"Don't feed the emmos."
Girl C: Do you guys have girlfriends?
C/J/D: No.
Girl C: Mabey this is why.
Josh: ...AHW! I'm gonna...hit you with...something...big!
Chris: Like this pumpkin.
Josh: Yeah. With this pumpkin!
Girl A: No! Not my pumpkin!
Chris: It's not yours.
Girl A: Oh. O.k.
(I gentally tap Girl C on the back of the head with the pumpkin)
Girl C: Ow...
Girl B: Do you have a cell phone?
Josh: No!
Girl B: Here.(hands phone to Chris)
Josh: What's it say?
Chris: "Hi".
Josh: Oooh. 2 letters!
Girl B: Nuh-uh! There's more than two letters!
Chris: Oh, excuse me. "Hey".
Josh: Oh 3 letters. Excuse me. Why can't we just talk?
Chris: They're women! Of course they have to make things difficult!
Josh: AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Cough! Cough! Cough! Ah...ah ha ha...Ahh that was funny. Thank you.
Dude: Why was that so funny?
Josh: Because I'm sexist.
Girl B: You thought that was funny? You laugh at the stupidest things. Like If I said "a tree falling", you'd laugh.
Josh: No. It's because I'm sexist.
(Girl B takes phone from Chris)
Girl B: Why didn't you write anything? At least I put 3 letters.
Chris: YOU TOOK IT FROM ME!
Josh: AAAAHHHH HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA! Cough, cough, cough! Wheez!
Chris: I didn't write anything because you took it from me!
Girl B: Oh. Here.
Chris: What should I write?
Josh: Here, lemmy see? ...V, v, where's the v?...
Chris: Here. Just tell me what you want me to write.
Josh: Vocal Chords.
Chris: O.k. ...v...o...c.............Here you go.
Girl B: ...What's that say?
Josh: Vocal Chords.
Girl B: What's that?
(pause)
Josh: Did she just ask what vocal chords were?
Chris: Yes she did.
Girl B: No. I know those are the things you've been saying, but like what are they. They're like the things that talk to eachother right?
(You can't make this stuff up!)
Josh:AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA! COUGH! COUGH! HACK! WHEEZ! COUGH! Oh! Oh my gosh! Ah...
Chris: Yes. They're the things that make you talk to eachother.
Girl B: It's not my fault I don't use big words.
Josh: VOCAL CHORDS?!
Girl B: (to girl A) They're making fun of me bacause i don't know the that they're like talking about.
Josh: That was very intelegently put. "The that they're like talking about."
(Girl B goes back to texting)
Josh: Did you see that?
Chris: Yeah.
Josh: There was no transition! She just went right back to her cell phone!
Chris: It's like in a cartoon when there's a scene change. It just goes boom!
Josh: Yeah. Like they acidentally left out a couple hundred frames or something.
Chris: Yeah.
(pause)
Girl A: You guys are realy guiet.
(No lie. She realy said that.)
Josh: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
Chris: Are you serious?
Josh: NO! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!
Chris: All we've been doing is talking this whole time.
Josh: WE'VE BEEN OVER HERE TALKING! I'M COUGHING SO HARD I CAN TASTE BLOOD IN THE BACK OF MY THROUGHT! AND WE'RE QUIET?!
(goes right back to texting)
Josh: There she goes again. No transition. And we're imaginary again.
Chris: Yeah.
(pause)
Girl B: Do you have a cell phone?
Josh: No! Quit asking!
Girl B: All right, all right.
(Pause. I hit the girls with my bottle)
Girl A: Ow!
Girl B: Ow!
Girl C: Ow!
Josh: Where on earth did that come from? It must be haunted! It's the Gho-suh-sehs!
Chris: Yeah. We're invisable.
Josh: they're gonna call T.A.P.S. on us.
Chris: Yeah.
Josh: They're gonna set up their equiptment an be like, "A full bod aperation! And look how evil those ghosts look too!" Ghosts aren't real. They're just emmo kids looking for a friend.
(pause)
Girl B: (repeatedly taps neck with index finger)Hey...um...where are those things that...um...you were saying...
Josh: Vocal chords?
Girl B: (continues to tap neck)Yeah, those. Where are they?
Josh: ...You did not just ask-
Chris: They're like-
Josh: They kind've extend-
Chris: ...back here-
Josh: ...and they go-
Chris: ...they're in the back of your throught like this.
Girl B: So why don't we talk out of back here?
(You can't. You can not make this stuff up!)
Josh:WHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!
COUGH! COUGH! HACK! COUGH! HACK! HACK! HACK! COUGH! WHEEZ!
Chris: (turns around) Hi how are ya'?
Josh: AH HAHAHAHAHAHA! HACK! HACK! HACK!(holds hand in fron to mouth, miming catching something) Oh, look! A kidney!
Girl B: You know. I'm not talking to you anymore. All you guy've been doing is making fun of me.
Josh: You're not going to talk to us. Which is SO different from the way you've been treating us!
Girl B: No. All you guys do is turn everything I say around and make fun of me.
Josh: ...You're right...I'm sorry.
(goes back to texting, doesn't notice)
Josh: I'm sorry! ...Nothin'...
(pause. girls go back to texting. Chris pokes girl c in the sides)
Girl C: I'm not ticklish.
Josh: You have to be!(poke poke)
(Chris pokes girl b. She yelps. I join in.)
Girl B: Yelp! Ow! Stop! You grabed my rib thingies.
(I clasp hands firmly over mouth to hold back laughter. It comes out in pig squeel noises.)
Chris: Rib thingies.
Josh: .........cough......wheez.......I'm tryin' Chris. I realy am.
(pause)
Josh: You know what? I've figured it out. They won't talk to us because the things we're saying are too complicated for them. No, I'm gonna try an experiment. I'm gonna insult them, but in a little 3rd or 4th grader type way, and we'll see what happens, o.k.?
Chris/Dude: O.k.
(pause)
Josh: You're ugly!
(pause)
Girl C: ...I know! Leave me alone!
Josh: PROOF! PROOF! RIGHT THERE!
(pause)
Girl B: Hey. Do we realy have a cage for our ribs?
(Yes. She realy said that to.)
Chris: Yes. we have a rib cage.
Josh: ...............cough cough................I'm trying so hard Chris.
Chris: I know.
Josh: You can't not be sexist when girls are saying things like that!

We pulled into the church parking lot. We got out and unpaked our stuff. It was like 11:30 at night. I put my things in Chris's car. As I wait for him to finish saying goodbye to people, I walk up to a girl who I hadn't talked to on the whole trip.

Josh: Hi. How are you?
Girl D: Good.
Josh: Listen. I gotta ask you some questions o.k.?
Girl D: O.k.
Josh: Do you know what vocal chords are?
Girl D: Yeah.
Josh: O.k. (make imaginary lines horozontally on right side of chest from bottom of lung level upwards0 What are these?
Girl D: Ribs.
Josh: Good. (mimics ribs coming together) Now what do they make up?
Girl D: Rib cage?
Josh: Thank you! I know you might not understand, but you realy helped me. Thank you.

Then Chris drove me home and I went to bed. As for today, all I did was stuff on the computer, and worked on my Phantom of the Opera costume. I'm sorry this was so long but i hoped you enjoyed it. untill next time.

Josh