work at the community cafe has resumed this week but all is not well. I missed one staff meeting due to being on Friday and that's the day i go up the line and stay at my sisters. The alternate meeting was canceled due to the coordinator being sick.
Everything was smooth on Monday... or as smooth as possible considering we were cleaning up around serving coffees...
then i get a message yesterday saying that my services aren't required for Wednesday and that i need to speak to the coordinator about an incident... WHAT incident?! What did I do?! And WHEN?!
Thing is i don't read my messenges that often cause no one is usually sending me any so i rocked up to work as usual only to have one of the other chickies rock up and tell me to check my phone for messages...
talk about a sudden sinking feeling, and I've got two days to stew over it.
the appointment is Friday... again. So while i'll try and make this one I'm not looking forward to it.
It's a real blow to my self esteem though... I'm so freaky I can't even hold a voluntary position. Now that's probably blown waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay out of proportion and i haven't been fired yet, but since when did emotions respond to logic. I"m trying very hard NOT to work myself into a blithering downward spiral but it's hard. I thought i was doing good, doing well and now this. It's a kick alright.
I'm trying hard to think of positive things that could come about if i was let go but right now it's hard... i LIKED the volunteering. I felt like I was doing something useful even if I'm not up to full time work right now... maybe I can find something else to do.
I'm trying to be calm and not jump the gun, but I'm just coming off my period and it's really hard.
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Iszanshen Angel of Blade
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