I sometimes wonder what I'm doing here, honestly.
I'm just... I'm me. Nothing more, nothing less and yet... I wish I could be more. I know there are people that care about me, and sure, I have someone to love... But where does the cycle of self-hatred stop? I'm nothing. I've learned this. I'm not really sure if it's the PMSing or all the s**t that's going on... But... I..
I feel like nothing compared to everyone else.
I feel like I can do something ans there's always someone doing it ten times better. And I get jealous, so jealous. "God, if only I could be as good as them, half as good, even" I sometimes think. I've given up the blade, I may smoke, but in who's view did i deserve this? What did I do to deserve running in circles?
Good lord, for a day in someone else's shoes...
Maybe it's just me. God, Broken, get a hold of yourself, you're just as good as anyone else! Don't fret! You're worth it! You're worth all of-
What? Worth all the pain it takes to get to know me? I drag people through so much s**t just so they came be close. I hate letting people close. Half of the people that think they're close aren't! They don't know anything about me... I'm so... I'm so closed in by these walls I throw up... I don't want people to see the real me... Even though there's been one who could...
God...
I'm just so tired of seeing the glass half full. it's not, okay? Everything is going downhill... I've seen it play out too many times...
A quote from a song to describe this? "I hurt myself trying to find my purpose"- Circles by Hollywood Undead.
I wish it were eighth grade again... I wish I could redo things.. But... I can't- AND WHAT THE HELL SMELLS LIKE SOUR MILK?! -frowns trying to ignore the smell-
I don't wish I was never born, I just wish my life had some more meaning...
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