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When ever i feel sad i try and hide it as best that i can....know on ever knows ^^ its funny....just like another normal day....I am sorry to all of my friends but yes i lied...about being happy that is...eversince that day when i left for a wile...things have never been the same...I wont tell you what happened in the almost half year i was gone...but yea...i lost track of time, my hope and heart were gone...all i could think about was how am i going to get better...so i lied...my head, my heart, my soul are just so empty...I can't keep this ruse up...soon i will bust and brake until there is nothing left...i only know of one person that cares...maybe the only one who ill read this entry....the only one i am hanging on to this thing called life for...but soon...i don't know if even she can bring be back from the dark depths of my heart...the only thing that brings me joy now is her smile....but...the darkness has already started to take over....the lie will and because u will see a drastic change in my attitude....you will ask...i will not answer...not even to her...she nor anyone can save me from where i've fallen...i will leave me self to slowly die withing me heart until there is know more but a speck of life left in me to fulfill the job that i was put on earth for...and then i can die happy...knowing that the one i love with he happy with another so i don't have to put her through such pain and suffering....i would never want to hurt her....but my heart can't take this pain anymore...i want to die...you may call it week...but i'm ok with that....so i am sorry to all my dear friends...i will miss you...and i'm sorry if i have hurt you in anyway...good bye...for now...