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Well basically.. since I'm not sure if I'll have Chloe or not.. I've finally decided what I'm going to do.

If she takes me back
I'll keep dating her as usual, but I'll be a bit more distant/cautious for a while, just incase she does decide to break up; protect myself, you know. While dating her though.. I mean, I'm not going to push away all other girls as agressively as I have been.. I'll atleast talk to them or something, maybe, MAYBE make a new friend, but keep my mind open, until she knows for sure what she wants to do, you know?

If she doesn't
I'll be her friend as long as she lets me, I might still move up there in the future once I can, just because I want to try and live somewhere different.. (if it's okay with her ,to move near her.) IF not, I might move near linzy (not the same town though) instead then, just because I really do want to move away, and I want to move somewhere I'd still have friends and all.. x x; I'd still stay open to girls who I met, I'd still make friends first, because I won't be ready for another relationship after chloe for a while.

Basically, that's what I'm thinking I'm going to do. I've been too... latched on in the past, and I got too close too fast.. and since she might not even want a relationship, then, i'm ********, you know?

I love her with all my heart... but I really do want a relationship. I want consentual love, I want someone to wake up next to, someone I can talk to about life, someone who understands me, and someone who I understand.. a lover. If she's not ready for that, then I really will find someone who is.. but I'm going to give her a chance, if she wants it. I'm not going to just ditch her.. I'm leaving the decision up to her, and I'm going to let her take as long as she needs; if she decides that it's going to be "temporary" for a few months, so be it, but.. yeah.

I mean, she was my first, she's one of the most important people in my life -- but, I do know what I want.. so i'll give her time to decide on what she wants, and then if that's not me, I will move on.