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Oookay... I think I ******** up majorly tonight..

I've been talking to a person, who I shall label as M.. (not Chloe, I label her as C)..

Anyways.. M is such a wonderful person.. I really care about her -- as a friend... &&I think I lead her on tonight.... which I sometimes do without meaning to.. and it makes me feel very effin' retarded.. =__=;;

I mean.. okay, on the one had, she's such a sweetheart, and.. hm.. if things weren't the way they were, I might see her in a different light.. but right now, my mind is pretty much shut out to dating anyone, except Chloe...

&&M might just be talking to me and being a sweetheart because she knows it's what I need, and she just wants to keep me happy.. and if that's so, I'd be so damn happy right now >.>; but.. if I'm leading her on, I'll feel like total a**.. because I just can't see myself with anyone but Chloe..

&even though I am single.. (and so I'm letting myself go, and doing things I wouldn't normally do when I was dating.. but nothing over the line, really.. just kinda pushing it?) I dunno.. I'm still holding back some.. 'cept M was very good at helping me relax tonight, which made me happy, 'cuz it's usually hard for most people to put me in a comfort zone if I don't know them that well.

BUT.. I dunno. I kinda feel like I'm just playing in the garden.. before I have to go back inside and tend to my normal life.. getting a taste of what I'm missing, before life goes back to normal, for as long as whatever "normal" is, really is.. I dunno.

I'll have to talk to M A.S.A.P., because I really would die if I lead her on and then broke her heart.. that'd just, be the worst thing in the world to me, and would crush me completely.. but blah x__X;