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Listening to: Stay with me (Extended Version) -- Ruby Tuesday

Basically sitting here, wondering why everything had to get so complicated, and difficult..

Back when I was younger, everything was so easy.. I loved Chloe, she loved me, and that was all there was to it. No one else mattered, we were happy, we did our own things now and then, and yeah.. everything just sorta ended up pretty damn good.

As time went on, we started growing up, and now things are starting to get complicated.. conflict of interests.. that's what I'll call it, conflict of interests...

We both know we want eachother.. but the question is, can we have the other.. can we live with them, and how they want to live.. the real question is though, can she? Is she willing to make sacrifices (It's not like she hasn't already.. but she's starting to gain them back..) just to be with me..? That's the grand question.. and it'll decide our future together.

She may THINK she knows the answer to it.. but what she thinks, and what she does are two different things.. so.. I'm just going to sit on the sidelines and hopes she makes the right choice.. I'm going to hope I can trust her, hope she makes the "right" choice.. but then again.. the right choice for me, may not be the right choice for her..

I'm thinking, if she does go down the path that leads to us not being able to be together.. then, I'll stick around as a friend.

As a friend, that life style is nothing new to me, I don't care what she does with her life.. but .. for a lover, I have certain expectations.. which hell, they may be unrealistic.. I just don't want them to cheat.. I don't want them to smoke/drink/do drugs, and.. I dunno.. that's pretty much my only restrictions, those are my only expectations of them, aside from spending time with me obviously, and being honest.. (I can't stand being lied to).

But yeah... Either way, I won't completely end up out of her life.. but if she goes down one path, I'll stay a friend, through and through, and be with her until time splits us apart.. I'll stil move there for a while, just to get my traveling boots on, and get a feel for what it's like to move.. if I like it in missouri, I'll stay for quite a while.. if not, I'll stay for a year or two, maybe more, depending on financial things, friends, and relationships, but yeah, I'll probably end up moving somewhere else, and constantly moving, doing this and that, until I find somewhere I HAVE to be.. and then, I'll be happy, I guess. I dunno.

Once I pick that one spot, that one place I have to be, I might just start traveling and visiting places, for the hell of it.. I dunno.

If I stay with Chloe, however.. I'll probably move to Missouri, and stay there with her for a long time.. and then if she moves, I'll move with her, and we'll go where the road takes us.. then I'll still travel, visit e-buddies all I can, and stuff like that.. I guess.. blah..