I still love him...
W.C.C. and I are attempting to be friends. I hate it. I want to be with him so badly that it kills me inside that we are not together anymore. What is even worse is the fact that he has decided to join the National Guard for 20 years.
It is just one blow after another. I love him with every inch of my being, and it is like he is doing all he can just to break my heart. I know that it is not his intention to, but I can't help but be torn inside.
I feel like everything is falling apart. I only feel soothed when I get to talk to him, which is ironic since he is the reason I am in so much agony.
Why do I feel that him joining the National Guard is just nothing but him signing up for his death? I try to think otherwise, but I am haunted with the idea that I will be recieving the dreaded message that he will be gone forever. Everytime I think about it, tears stream down my face as if he is already dead. I pray to God, but it is like I can't let my worries go. He means everything to me... I don't want him to die.
All I can do is support him and pray to God for his safety.
~*Whispers of a Dream*~
