I love him, but I don't know if I can go on like this. I talked to my friend and she said that he's not treating me like I deserve to be treated, like someone would treat someone they loved. He's treating me like I'm just a convenience for him. She thinks he is hiding something or something is going on, possibly between him and my other friend, since they both stopped talking to me at the same time.
She thinks I should cut it off.
I might have to. I don't feel loved or cared for anymore. I love him, but I don't know if he feels the same, if he still feels that way. It's hard to tell since I haven't talked to him but once and a half since the 22nd. I hope he does and he realizes that he isn't doing things right. Like I said before, maybe I should take my own advice and separate from him for a while. It will hurt me tons, and I highly doubt it will do anything to him, but it might be worth it. Might....I dunno. It's hard to tell with him. Things don't affect him like they do other people. I can be gone for a week with no explanation and it won't faze him. I could be dead and he would never know. We've had a bomb scare at the library where I work, but he probably doesn't care. I care about him, about his safety. Is the concern shared?
I don't know what to do, honestly. It would so help if he was here, but he's not. Will he ever be? I don't know. Is he even working towards coming here? Doesn't seem like it. Is he saving money for it? I dunno. At first I thought long distance relationships were easy because I trusted him, I trusted him not to be running around with other girls there, which is the main concern for most with this kind of relationship. But it's harder than I thought. It would be easier if I talked to him every day or every other day, even if it is just "Just saying good night. I love you and I miss you." And that's it. It's better than nothing.
*sigh* I love him so. I really do. I've been crying all day, some of yesterday too, when I thought of him. This is so hard....is it worth it? What am I getting out of it in exchange for this pain and suffering?
I dunno what to do. Honestly.
CassiopeiaDraconis Community Member 
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