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I'm back to waiting.. saving up money, going to buy a car when I can afford it..I spent too much money this time again.. but a lot less than normal.. if I can keep saving up my checks, I should have over $1k next paycheck.. (the 22nd I think).. like, $1.4k or so.. and then I'll just keep saving and saving.. x x;; eh..

Once I buy a car, and get it insured, and all that, I'm going to get dad to start riding with me, so I can get driving experience.. I need a LOT of experience, because I'm going to be driving myself to missouri..

I haven't told chloe yet, but I know she'd agree with me.. but if I don't think I'm ready by july (when I plan to move) then I'm going to stay here longer, and keep practicing.. getting my license is top priority right now though.. x x'

eh.. i just want to be with her.. I want to be with her so bad i can't stand it.. it's ridiculous.. I've never done this much for anyone before...

without her, I wouldn't even have a job yet.. I'd still be at home all day/night, helping dad, and maybe going to the junior college now and then.. dad might have forced me to get a job, but I doubt I would've for a long time.. because of Chloe, I actively started searching for a job.. 6 months of searching and I have a job at a gas station..but it's getting me money to work towards living in missouri...

really I don't know if I'm going to like missouri.. but I'm going to make the best of it anyways.. I think I'd really like living in california, a lot, because of all the different types of areas and all, and the good paying jobs.. and I dunno, it seems like a fun place to live, and mom always wanted to live there.. so yeah..

I just want to get away from this town.. really, and be with chloe x x'

but yeah.. Missouri won't be that bad, really.. I mean the weather will be like hell, but I'll get over it, I've suffered through much, much worse, and I'll just stay positive.. besides, once I get a job there, and start really getting settled with chloe.. everything will be fun >< x x' eh

i need credit too.. x x doom..

but yeah, I'll get a job there.. and start saving some money on the side, atleast $100 from every check will go into my savings (if I can afford to put that much) so that I can save for when she wants to move to california.. (if that's still our plan by then.. we're both young, and so we don't know what we're going to do.. but yeah)

i love her though.. and getting to live with her, will be the best thing ever. x x;;

like, I'm in ecstasy, from just being with her for 3 days.. and I had to work for most of those days, even! x x;;; but.. it was so worth it.. it cost a lot kinda, but... it was worth it all.. because she's worth it.. and living with her will be like, a permanent visit..so I'll be very very happy ><;

I just have to let this all out

I should be getting to sleep soon, I have to work at ******** 2 pm = =' I hate working day shift.. and this next weekend, I work 6am-2pm friday and saturday..i'm like.. "ugh fml..." = =; I mean I hear they go by fastest of all the shifts you know? but.. still.. I dunno, I hate waking up early.. and then there's the fact that after working graveyard for so long, I'll be dead tired.. so meh.. x x; eh.. oh well.. I'll endure it...

so yeah.. I'm looking for cars for sale.. barry is going to san antonio tommorow/sunday to look for something cheap, he's got $2.2k from his tax return, and so he's going to buy him a car... nothing AMAZING you know.. but it'll be more than he has now.. (nothing) x x and i'm hoping I can find something like that too...

I just want a good car, that I can afford.. (I'm hoping my grandpa gives me his car, I drive it all the time, I'm good at driving it, and I like it.. it's a ford explorer... I might see if I can buy it from him, and make payments until I pay it off > <; it might cost me all of my money.. but damn it would be worth it!!)

then I'd have a car.. but i'm not going to ask yet... not for a while, at least.. this is a horrible thing to say.. but if he dies soon, I'm sure that the family will give me his explorer.. x x everyone in the family thinks I should have it.. (including him, but he still uses it)

but blah.. x x;

I'm in love.. it's scary to be in love.. kinda... it's a really good feeling.. but part of me is scared that i'm doing so much and willing to accept so much for just one person.. part of me is afraid of her.. but the rest of me trusts her completely, and that's why I love her, because I can trust her.. I know she'd never do anything to hurt me... x x i'm in lovveeee.. doom..