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When I'm sitting here, the pains of life starting to settle in, my depression seeping back into me, and my faith in humanity taking a big hit - she still manages to keep me on track..

Her exsistance alone, seeing her, and knowing she's just.. alive, makes all the pain go away. It numbs the sorrow, and vanquishes the dissapointment.

It makes my anxiety go away.. and I'm able to relax.

I've been a pillar of strength for so many..I've kept countless people from doing things that would otherwise destroy their lives.. (literally.. I've been a counselor and talked people down from suicide..).. and I thought that I'd always be invincible.

My world has been turning gray lately, and I've been thinking about running away from my fate, and letting the world fall to its knees... giving up on it, and the people in it, for having lost faith in humanity..

I came so close to that point last night.. ridiculously close..but she pulled me back seconds before the train passed.. pulled me out of the line of danger.. and for that, I'll be forever thankful.

Her honesty has only increased my strength.. there are things we need to work on.. there are things that need to be done now.. but the color is returning to my world.

Love once again has a meaning.. peoples lies aren't as painful as they used to be.. I can tolerate them now, I'm stronger for it, and I can pull them through.. she has given me the power to help her.. and because of her existence, the power to help so many more, just like Neena said..

I'm teetering towards an even more dangerous path.. but I'm hoping my will is strong enough to keep me going until it passes..

So far I haven't caved.. even though there's incredible temptation.. I'll be strong, for her.. I have to, for them..