Chapter Two: The Daily Life in an Office of Idiots
“Ya climbed out on a ledge for a ********’ cat?! Grimmjow, what the ******** is wrong with ya, ya dumbass!”
“Shut up”, the blonde growled at the nosy black haired man.
The moment the young blonde man had stepped into work was he dragged to talk to his colleagues over his latest excuse for being late. Two people sat in chairs beside him in their own respective chairs, annoying the blonde when they could. One of the two had ebony black hair that reached down to his shoulders in front and shaped around his face while the back was short. He had one beady black eye that could easily see through any lie or excuse, the other covered by a white headband because he could no longer see out of it due to an injury during a fight. He had a rather disturbing smile as well, if you would call it a smile anyways. To the blonde, it seemed more like a creepy, narrow, perverse grin or smirk. The slightly creepy man was also very thin and lanky, donned in simple clothing such as a white beater and a pair of decent looking slacks along with black shoes.
The one sitting on the other side of the black haired man was more... properly dressed you would say. He was decked in a crisp black shirt with a red tie that was loosened casually, nicely pressed brown slacks, and shiny black shoes. His impeccably straight hair was lightly browned that reached down to his shoulder, bangs pulled back by two clips on the left side, and his skin a light peach color that contrasted against his beautiful amber hued eyes. The young man was about a year younger than the blonde, being only twenty-two, but he was in fact smarter than people game him credit for. He’d graduated High School at fifteen and graduated college with a degree in advanced Physics and Calculus. People often wondered why he’d taken a job as an artist, but he would simply reply that it was a paying job for while he was in college.
“But really, Grimmjow, a cat”, the brunette asked in a haughty tone, “I always knew you were an idiot, thus this incident only proves my statement true.”
“******** you, Szayel”, Grimmjow griped at him in irritation, slowly losing patience with the prim and proper brunette man, “I’m not the one stupid enough to dye his hair pink of all ********’ colors.”
“I dyed it ONCE”, the brunette, the one named Szayel screeched at him, “On Halloween of all things! Because HE-” He paused mid sentence and pointed accusingly at the black haired man. “Was the one who dared me to do it”, he finished in a clipped tone, “So don’t even TRY to blame that on me. Also, because of said incident, my hair was like that for TWO WEEKS before the dye came out. Thanks a lot, you ignorant, imbecilic, crooked teeth’d, grinning b*****d!” He gazed at the black haired man with a scathing look.
The black haired man held his hands up in front of himself in his own defense. “Oi, oi”, he said with a smirk tugging at his lips, “How was I s’pposed to know it wasn’t gonna come out. Said I was sorry.” A twinkle of mischief danced in the black haired man’s eyes, basking in making the brunette angry and flustered. It was the man’s favorite pass time besides pointing out that his blonde friend had yet to find a boyfriend. Yes, boyfriend. Most, key word, MOST, men in the agency were gay... especially in the art department. What kind of guy would work in a cosmetics industry in the art category and NOT be gay? A real weirdo, that’s what. Nnoitora was practically one of the only men in the department that wasn’t gay, mainly because he preferred both genders as his friends had come to find out on many occasions.
“Nnoitora, I’ve known you for a good year now, and I’m smart enough to know that you are NEVER sorry”, Grimmjow commented with a sneer on his face as he stared down the black haired man, “Szayel is right for a change, yer an idiot.” The blonde turned to his desk and resumed working on his latest drawing for the company.
Szayel gave a sigh of relief. “Thank you, someone finally- OI”, he started before he cut himself off after processing the entire phrase in his mind, “What do you mean, ‘right for a change’?!” The brunette stood abruptly and slapped the desk next to Grimmjow’s with a force, glaring in irritation as the blonde haired man ignored him and continued drawing. With a sudden pique of curiosity, he looked over Grimmjow’s shoulder at his drawing this time and stared in amazement as the young blonde drew new styles of adds for the pre-production cosmetic line that was due to be released in a week. As Nnoitora, the black haired man, peeked over Grimmjow’s other shoulder, Szayel felt a smile tug at his lips. “You say your drawings suck, but they’re very good, Grimmjow”, he said softly.
“They suck”, Grimmjow mumbled distractedly, concentrating on the picture, “I don’t like anything I draw... It all sucks in comparison to everyone else’s here... I don’t know why everyone likes it so much.” He bit his lip in concentration as he stared at the sheet he was drawing on. He then continued after a moment, erasing a few things here and there and redrawing them to make the picture flow more smoothly.
Nnoitora frowned lightly, envious of the blonde’s natural affinity for art, but smirked in amusement as he looked up and over at the doorway. He watched as a young redhead strolled in being led by a young blonde man with long, light blonde hair, whom Nnoitora recognized instantly as Szayel’s older brother who also happened to work for the agency, but was below them in rank and only followed the orders of Grimmjow when he needed things done. He looked down at the other blonde slaving away on his new drawing. “Oi, Grimm”, the black haired man drawled with amusement, “What’d ya’ say tha’ cop from earlier looked like?”
“Red hair, pulled into a high ponytail”, Grimmjow replied absentmindedly, not looking up, “Tall, thin, and lanky. Tattoos over his eyebrows.” He didn’t know why Nnoitroa wanted to know about the redheaded cop, and didn’t particularly care so long as his drawing could be finished soon. “Why are you asking?”
“’Cause ya got a visitor”, Nnoitora said with a sadistic smirk as Grimmjow’s head shot up in alarm. The blonde looked around behind himself as the other blonde approached them with the redheaded cop in tow. Nnoitora snickered to himself as the blonde let out a curse and hurriedly turned back around to continue drawing. “What”, he taunted with a sneer, “Cat got yer tongue, Grimmy?”
Grimmjow looked over at Nnoitora over his shoulder and glared hatefully at the ebony haired man. “Don’t call me that, b*****d”, he bit out in annoyance, cursing Nnoitora for all he was worth inside his head. Sometimes the black haired b*****d really knew how to push a person’s buttons. Grimmjow also wasn’t exactly in the mood for more of Nnoitora’s bullshit either. He let out a mumbled ‘s**t’ under his breath as the other blond haired man stepped up behind him.
The other blonde was immaculately clean, not unlike his younger brother Szayel. He wore a crisp white shirt, a black tie, black dress slacks, and black shoes. His long blond hair was straight like his younger brother’s. His dark brown eyes almost flashed with amusement as his higher up tried to hide in his work. “Grimmjow-sama”, he said respectfully with a smile, “I’m very sorry to disturb you from you and your colleagues’ hard work.” At this he paused and shot a wry smile at Szayel and Nnoitora, who both simply grinned in response. “But”, he continued smoothly, “This young cop said that he needed to return something to you.”
Grimmjow turned around fully and gave a sheepish smile to the redheaded cop that stepped forward as the other blonde stepped back and left in one fluid motion. “We meet again, Lieutenant Abarai”, he said in a strained tone, “Twice this morning.”
“Well, it would have been only once”, Renji said with a smirk of amusement as he reached back and pulled something out of his pocket, holding up the navy blue wallet, “But you left something behind in your mad dash out of the building this morning.”
Grimmjow reached out and took the wallet with a sigh of relief. “Thank you for returning it at least”, he said with a light smile of amusement, “I don’t think I would’ve noticed it was missing until lunch time... So you’ve saved me the trouble of scrambling around trying to find the stupid thing.”
“And”, Nnoitora cut in, flashing the cop a wry grin, “Thank ya’ fer savin’ this idiot’s stupid as hell a**!” He glared over at Grimmjow once more. “A ********’ CAT?!”
“Give it a rest, Nnoitora”, Grimmjow barked in annoyance, reaching up and attempting to swing at the black haired man’s face, who ducked out of the way quickly.
As the two began bickering once more, Szayel smiled over at the redheaded cop. If the two morons weren’t going to flirt, the least he could do was flirt in their place. “So, tell me, Abarai-san, was it”, he asked receiving a nod from the cop, “Are you single?”
Renji raised an eyebrow with a surprised look for a moment before smirking in amusement. The brunette surely wasn’t shy about flirting with him, so why disappoint? “Sorry, but I’m already spoken for”, he commented nonchalantly, “But you get points for trying.”
Szayel made a tutting sound. “I’m not flirting for my sake, but rather for another”, he said calmly with a smile, “I’m already spoken for as well by a doctor in the Karakura Medical Clinic... So, which sex do you prefer?” While the brunette was naturally curious, he was also straightforward with his questioning. He’d always been that way and would continue to stay that way. Why beat around the bush when you could just get straight to the point?
The redhead reflected on this for a brief moment. “Both, actually”, Renji replied honestly with a light smile, “But, I’m in a relationship with a man at the moment.” He gave a light shrug of his shoulders in a nonchalant manner. “I like the beauty of both sexes”, he said in a relatively calm manner, as if he were talking about the weather.
Szayel’s lips twitched upwards at the man’s words. “How poetic”, he said in light amusement, to which the redhead gave a light laugh, “What is this ever so lucky man like?”
Renji looked up once more in thought. “Cold and rude”, he said quietly, “By-the-book... Prim and proper... When I first met him, I was convinced he had a stick up his a**... Actually, when we first met, we absolutely HATED each other... We’re complete opposites. The only reason I met him was because he adopted my best friend as his sister.” The redhead paused for a moment before a light smile touched his lips. “He got better though after a while”, he said wistfully, “He sort of began to grow on me and I got used to his sarcasm. After a while, I guess I stopped hating him and started liking him more and more... He felt the same way, I found out later on, so here we are now...” Renji hummed lightly before pausing as an epiphany hit him. “Wait, you said you’re dating a doctor”, he asked quickly with a curious look.
Szayel’s lips twitched up in amusement. “You just now remembered”, he commented idly with a wave of his hand, leaning back in his chair, “Anyways, yes, I am dating a doctor. Why do you ask?”
“And you said he worked at the Karakura Medical Center”, Renji asked curiously, receiving a confused nod from the brunette man, “You wouldn’t perhaps be dating Uryu Ishida, would you?”
Szayel perked up in surprise. “Yes”, he said with a slow nod, “Yes, that is who I am dating...” He paused for a moment and then his eyes widened and he started laughing, placing a hand against his forehead, berating himself for not figuring it out sooner. No wonder he had heard Renji’s name before. “Renji Abarai”, he said softly, “That’s why I knew your name... You’re the one Uryu always complains about... You and... Rukia Kuchiki, I believe is her name, go drinking with him and Ichigo Kurosaki, correct?” At Renji’s nod, Szayel shook his head with a smile.
“So wait, you two technically know each other”, Grimmjow asked in confusion, blinking repeatedly.
“Through friends, we’ve heard a lot about each other”, Szayel said in amusement, “Uryu constantly complains about Renji’s idiot antics... I anticipate the rants about every evening...”
“And I’ve heard about you three from Uryu, now that I think about it”, Renji said in amusement, a smile adorning his lips, “He says that Nnoitora is an idiot...” At this, Nnoitora guffawed at the redhead and glared. “He also says the ‘menacing, temper mental blonde with actual talent in art’ reminds him too much of his co-worker, who is my long time best friend, afore-mentioned Ichigo.”
Grimmjow’s eyebrow arched and he stared at the redhead curiously. “Oh, and what is this ‘Ichigo’ like”, he asked in light annoyance and he leaned back in his chair, putting air-quotes around the man’s name. He couldn’t help but crack a smile at the name though. It could be translated as so many things, strawberry being the most prominent.
“Obnoxious, very informal, only polite when necessary, stubborn, and hard headed”, Renji instantly fired back, not even bothering to sugar-coat Ichigo’s personality, which was very hard to do anyways. He placed a hand against the side of his head and let out a heavy sigh. “Smarter than people give him credit for, though”, he commented offhandedly, “Guy’s smart as hell... He’s a doctor, for cripes sakes...”
Nnoitora snorted lightly in response and leaned on Grimmjow’s desk. He propped up his elbow on the desk and rested his cheek in his upturned hand. “Not all doctors are smart”, he said rolling his eyes, “Some of ‘em are stupid as ********.”
“That’s the ones you find”, Grimmjow commented drily, looking over at the ebony haired man in annoyance, “Then again... you’re the one that gets into such idiotic situations in the first place...”
Nnoitora stood up and slammed his hands on the desk. “Oh, and just WHO was the one who was stupid enough to crawl out on a ledge for a cat”, he barked in irritation, “Yer the stupidest ******** I ever met ta’ do such a stupid thing like that!”
“******** you”, Grimmjow yelled back, standing in a flash, meeting Nnoitora’s height and baring his teeth in irritation, “YOU’RE the one who always gets drunk and starts brawls in a bar and gets his stupid a** thrown in JAIL.”
“The ********’ got it comin’ to ‘em”, Nnoitora snarled at him, the two’s faces getting close and they both bared teeth and sneered at each other. As more insults were thrown, everyone around the office room would glance over at the two every once and a while in amusement at the daily routine. The other top workers of the company already were used to Nnoitora and Grimmjow’s daily fights and found amusement in their bickering every once and a while. The new ones always had a hard time getting used to it, though.
Szayel gave a sigh of annoyance while Renji stared at the two curiously. “Are they... always like this”, the redhead asked slowly, blinking in confusion as he took in the scene before him. It somehow reminded him of how he and Ichigo fight like on occasions when they feel like being obnoxious. Loud and without the bite of a real fight.
Szayel nodded lightly to the redhead, sending him a sympathetic look. “Yes, this is quite normal”, he said nonchalantly, waving a hand at the two bickering morons, “These two idiots always bicker and argue... Never fails...” He rolled his eyes and slumped in his chair at his own desk beside Grimmjow’s. The day had barely even begun and already he was ready to strangle the two idiots, finish his work, and go home and sleep for a long time. Stress had begun to pile, he supposed, with the new production line going out in a week’s time. Sometime though, he wondered why he bothered to stay in this environment with these quarreling monkeys.
Renji stared for a moment before laughing softly. “It... kind of reminds me of how Ichigo and I will fight on occasion”, he said in amusement, a smile touching his lips as he reiterated his earlier thoughts, “We have fights similar to this... Especially when we go out drinking... Uryu always gets pissed off because we always end up doing something stupid... He says we’re idiots...”
“He says that about a lot of people”, Szayel said with a smirk of amusement, “He just doesn’t like people very much... I suppose that’s why we get along so well... We’re isolated people... We like to keep to ourselves and only let in a select few and get close to only a handful of people... Personally, for companionship, Nnoitora, Grimmjow, Uryu, and a few other co-workers are the only ones I have...” His lips twitched up into a smile. “But I have no complaints”, he said softly, “I’m quite content with my weird life... Well.. besides these two bickering...” He gestured to the two idiots still hurling insults at each other once again.
Grimmjow and Nnoitora continued their assailment on the other, not noticing the door slip open to the large room that held the cubicles of many of the better artists. Another head of ebony black hair poked into the room and slowly stepped inside of it. It belonged to a very small, pale skinned man with bright emerald eyes. He wore a clean, pressed suit and tie. After a moment, people began to notice he was there and held their breath. Eventually, the two noticed their “Guest” and Grimmjow groaned in annoyance.
Renji turned to the three he was slowly becoming friends with. “Who’s he”, he asked with a raised eyebrow. He didn’t understand how everyone suddenly froze up at his appearance. Maybe he was semi-important here at the company?
Grimmjow frowned in annoyance as he and Nnoitora sat down once again. “Ulquiorra Schieffer”, he said lowly in a displeased tone, “The fourth best artist in this department... He’s our boss’s messenger, basically. The top five artists have their own offices on higher floors and rarely interact with other Espada, much less a Fraccion unless it’s their own...” At the confused stare the redhead sent him, he sighed. “The Espada are what the top ten artists of the art division are called”, he explained quietly, “They’re numbered zero through nine, with zero being the best. Each Espada has workers that work solely for them, and they are called the ‘Fraccion’. Fraccion do all the menial tasks like running errands or delivering sketches to different places. Ulquiorra is known as the fourth, or Cuarta, Espada... He’s different than the other Espada... He reports directly to our boss, Sosuke Aizen... He’s basically his lap dog that does all his dirty work...”
“And we’re all pretty sure Aizen’s ******** ‘im behind closed doors while Gin-chan ain’t there”, Nnoitora drawled quietly, to which the redhead sent him an incredulous look, “Ain’t kidding... We’ve all got bets goin’ ta’ see how long it lasts ‘fore Gin-san confronts Aizen...”
“Gin-sama is Aizen-san’s ‘wife’”, Szayel said with a small grin, putting air quotes around wife, “Or husband, whatever you want to call it... But, they’re married... I’m pretty sure Gin knows though that Aizen cheats on him... Hell, he’s probably known for years... I don’t know why he stays, but he does...”
“Back to the topic at hand”, Grimmjow interrupted in annoyance, glaring at the black haired man and the brunette to quell their idle chatter, “Ulquiorra only comes down here if Aizen-sama needs to see someone... He’ll hold up one hand or two to signify a rank... If he holds up both hands, it means a lower ranked person... If he holds up one, it’s one of the Espada...” As he repeated this, Ulquiorra, noticing he had everyone’s attention, raised one hand into the air, easing most in the room, and held all five fingers in the air. He then lowered four of his fingers and left his pointer finger signifying one. “Oh, ******** me”, Grimmjow cussed under his breath, “Of course, it has to be me... Son of a b***h, what does that mother ******** want now?!”
“Sketches on the latest art ya’ did”, Nnoitora asked with a raised eyebrow and a light smirk.
Grimmjow frowned heavily at him before glaring as Ulquiorra stepped over to him and the group that had formed around his desk. “What, Schieffer”, he barked in annoyance with a glare on his face.
The ebony haired, green eyed man stared down at Grimmjow with a neutral expression. “Aizen-sama wishes to speak to you”, he said quietly in a monotonous voice, “He asks that you bring along your latest sketches... Now, trash.” His eyes held no emotion as he spoke, like the man was a lifeless doll following the commands of its puppet master.
Grimmjow’s eyes narrowed in annoyance. “Get lost, b*****d”, he hissed in irritation, “I can see myself up there... I know the route by heart.” Oh yes, he’d had to report to his boss many times for something he’d done, and he was never pleased when he had to see the man. His presence alone could scare just about anyone, besides Grimmjow anyways. He wasn’t scared of the man and personally hated him for all he was worth. The egotistical b*****d pissed him off.
After another second, the pale skinned man sauntered off silently and left the lower offices. Everyone in the office let out a breath of silent relief. Nnoitora stuck his tongue out at the door in annoyance and said something along the line of ‘Yeah, and don’t come back’. Szayel rolled his eyes at Nnoitora’s stupid antics.
As Grimmjow gathered his sketches, Renji looked over at them and whistled lowly in appreciation. “They’re beautiful”, he said quietly staring in awe at the beautiful drawings littered across the blonde’s desk, “You drew all these?”
Grimmjow nodded, not meeting the redhead’s gaze. “I don’t like them”, he said quietly, “They’re terrible... I don’t like anything I draw, yet everyone says that they love my drawings and paintings...” He snorted lightly in annoyance.
“They’re not horrible”, Renji exclaimed, “They’re good! Anyone who says otherwise is an idiot!”
“My thoughts exactly”, Szayel commented idly in annoyance, “It’s no use, Renji-san... He always hates his work and always will...Just as he will always have a bad taste in fashion...” Szayel smiled in amusement as the blonde glared at him with a furious look. “It’s the truth, Grimmjow. Your taste in clothing is quite terrible.” He gestured to the man’s outfit.
“When growing up, my family never had much money”, the blonde bit out with light anger in his tone, “It was me, my half sister, and my step-father... We never had much money and always just had hand-me-down clothes. When you don’t have much to call your own, you make do with what you have... If I had money now, I wouldn’t even know what to do with it. My fashion sense may suck, but I make do with what little belongs I have...” He gathered up all the things he needed and turned on his heel and began to walk away. “I’ll be back in a bit”, he called over his shoulder, “If I’m not back in a half an hour, come save me. Oh and thank you again, Abarai-san, for returning my wallet.” With that, he left the office.
Nnoitora looked over at Szayel and rolled his eyes. “Good goin’, moron”, he bit out in annoyance, “Ya’ pissed ‘im off.” He’d learned over the years that some topics were just taboo with Grimmjow, and money was one of them. He’d learned to not comment about the blonde’s wardrobe and just leave it be. But no, the prissy pink haired b***h just HAD to ruin it and push his buttons. Nnoitora mentally rolled his eyes again. For someone who has the IQ of over two hundred, Szayel sure was stupid.
Szayel glared over at Nnoitora in irritation. “I was only stating truth, I had no intention of angering him”, the brunette said with a light sigh, “Too late to take it back now, I suppose...” He turned to Renji once more. “Well, you’d better scurry out of here before someone finds you”, he said in amusement, “I’ll walk you out, Renji-san.”
“Thank you”, Renji said with a quick nod, standing up straight. As Szayel led him downstairs and out of the building, Renji couldn’t help but wonder why he was getting a vague sense of familiarity of the agency. He let it go soon enough and bid Szayel goodbye and headed back to the police station.
