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Chloe talked to me, told me the passion basicaly feels like its gone from our relationship. I don't blame her, cus it does feel like that.

More so of a, we're not in that "OMG PUPPY LOVE" phase, but more of a mature love, a love where we're happy just being together in the same room.

But ofc. she wants that old passion... and I don't know why I stopped.

It could be because she betrayed my trust, and did acid 3 days after I left last visit. Feeling a bit like, "being so lovey and passionate just ******** me over". It could be the whole, "her going to go on a date with lindsey regardless of how i feel" thing. Just... really pushing me away.

the constantly telling me she needed her space, even ont eh visits, the telling me she did need alone time, and telling me she didn't want to constantly be around me.

All the pushing me away.. :/ I mean, I actually take it to heart when someone tells me they want their space. I distance myself emotionally and physically. I give people exactly what they want.. then they get upset at me, because they don't want it. Ugh.

Maybe it wasn't any of that though.

Maybe I'm trying to rationalize to myself, why I'm acting this way... trying to blame someone else, because I'm screwing up, and I don't want to take the blame.. but then... I don't know how to fix it. Atleast if I blame someone else, I don't feel like a complete failure... ugh..

It's either my fault, or hers... but then, it doesn't really matter who's fault it is, does it? We just need to fix it... but I don't know how.

This is what happens when I try to do something I don't know how to do, I fail. This is why I don't take risks. This is why I don't try anything new, or go out on a limb, because if I do, I WILL fail.

I don't become a writer, because it's not something you're guaranteed to be a success at, as long as you know what you're talking about; therefore, I will fail. I don't do anything I don't know how to do, because, it's just a ******** fact, that I suck at everything.

Telling myself I'm the best at everything is just a way to forget how much I ******** suck.