Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

I always thought it was silly when people ended relationships over sex.. I mean, I don't see how people could value it over their love, but now I'm seeing the strain its putting on our relationship.

I don't know why, I just honestly haven't been in the mood lately. Maybe it's my diet, maybe it's that I'm so absorbed in an old game, maybe I'm on my man period, I really don't know. Chloe thinks it's her fault, she thinks i'm not attracted to her.. which is total BS, because when I need fresh fap material, it's usually to her.. (why don't you just have sex with her, you ask? well she's usually asleep by then. . )

I know she's been trying for a while, but.. I don't know, sex has never been that important to me. An after thought, something spontaneous; it would just sort of happen, I we wouldn't really have designated times or days for it. When she calls me in the room at times, and I can sort of get that vibe, it kind of puts pressure on me. Like, "oh ******** now i need to get it up s**t i wasnt even in the mood and she's gonna expect me to be"

I remember when she went through a non-horny phase, and I just had to suck it up and deal with it.. (SEVERAL months of no cybering, etc.) but I guess it's different in person now. Hell.. it's getting so bad I feel like i'm being "punished" now, because I won't ******** her.

"Hey want to go see cpt america?" I'm like ******** yeah I do! then she's like okay we'll go see it today :3~~

Then the whole, "lay with me, etc.", and no sex. Afterwards it's like "ugh we're not going out." so i'm like well ********. This sucks.

Then today.. "movie, blahblah" no sex, "oh well nevermind. :/"

I'm like.. s**t. I can't control my libido. I can't. It's NOT within my control. If she thinks it's because of HER, she's an idiot. I'm attracted to her, I know this for a fact, because at times I do fap to her. It has nothing to do with her, it's just me.

I just need to vent all these frustrations and aggravations, and there's no one I can talk to about this stuff.

I might just be on my man period, who knows. (Which is a real thing, btw)

Like, normally slutty costumes and all that really get me going.. but I just feel meh.

If she were to wear a costume and whatnot, I'd probably think "holy s**t this is hot", maybe a slight stirring in my loin, but.. that's it. It's not that I "cant get it up" per se, like, ED, it's just that, my body is sort of like, "why bother" at the moment.

Like, why get the p***s up James, there's no reason, sex is just sex! : (!

Idk, I'm RARELY like this.. very rarely. So rare that this is the only time I can ever remember being like this.. but I have a feeling it's just a short phase.. I'll probably be back to normal tommorow or the day after, who knows.

As for today, I might try to get it up and just ******** chloe for her sake. Just because she needs it..