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I finally forced him to man up, and confirm that this was over. I don't like people hiding from me and pretending we're still friends when we're not.

I'm not going to lie. I'm bummed, pretty bad. We had been friends for a long, long time. I'm not going to try and hide my sadness, or pretend to not care, because I don't have anything to prove. I don't have anyone left to prove it to. Everyone's gone. It was just me & him after all of it, but he can't see that.

He's stuck in the past, trying to keep living through his glory. Thinks he's got to put on this facade for group.. but the group is gone. They're all distant memories, and all that's left is us. Was us.

To me, once a friend, always a friend. I wouldn't let our friendship end over something so petty, but our friendship meant a lot more to me than it did him. again with the "something to prove" thing, there's no one here to call either of us a p***y for caring. No one to say "wow I can't believe you're still around after that bullshit!" because there is no one, at all. I put up with a lot of his bullshit. Much, much more bullshit than I've ever put him through, but I don't make a scene. I weather it, because we're friends, and we're human. No one's perfect.

I have superhuman patience, though. Not everyone else does.

I don't blame him for the path he's chosen, I just don't agree with his reasons for doing so.. but this is his life. It's not for me to decide what's right and wrong for him.

I don't wish him ill, either. I actually hope this works out the best possible way for him, and that I was just a blip on the radar of a long, long life. I hope he chooses to only remember the good, like I'm going to. I just wanted a confirmation. I wanted a solid "We're done. No chance. Clean break" and I got it. It'd be lying to say I'm not a little relieved.. to have a definitive answer. I can make promises and keep them, at this point. I can tell him definitively that "Thank you, this will be the last message you ever receive from me" and have it be true, because no matter what he says after that message, it doesn't matter. He's decided already, that it doesn't matter. We're done.

It's like a fatal wound. I could beg, scream, cry, plead, or fight. It wouldn't matter. There is nothing that can be done to save me. No hospital in the world could stop the inevitable. So instead, I'm just going quietly into that dark night. He deserves that much. Unlike him, friendship means something to me. It means something real, it means at the very least a modicum of respect. It means not dragging s**t out, but just letting it go.

It was fun, though. It was a good 10 years.