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I might have found out part of the cause?

I have to be super duper in the mood, like... no fapping for a day or two, for the hormones to reaaaaaaaallllyyyy build up, and for me to be like "UH WHAT"

Like... if people try sexual things after I fapped, it almost makes me feel sick, like that cold feeling in the pit of my stomach

If not though..? Like, ok. Lets say I was stuck on a road trip or something, or I was stuck somewhere like a motel room, where I couldn't for a day or two... probably more, maybe not though... like, omfg if someone started putting the moves on me, I'd be like "YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OKKKKK LETS DO IT"

It's so ******** weird, I don't know if this is stress related, emotion related, or what.

Maybe the cold icicle feeling is because neena turned off the relationship part of my brain & I need to feel like I love that person..? IDK, sex never gives me romantic feels, it always feels like I'm doing it to do it, unless I'm super duper horny, which is rare.. eh

IDK.

I know how to keep it at bay, atleast. So... until I start dating, and until I start getting serious about someone (which, lol won't haaaaaapeeeeeeeennnnn) the only way for me to have sex if I were to choose to, would be hormones overloading my brain... which, for guys, maaaaan testosterone is a d**k punch. If you were to go several months, possibly longer without ... y'know, then even straight dudes would eventually be willing to bang dudes, animals, anything, because our hormones say "LOL GUESS WHAT ********? YOU'RE MYYYYYYYYY b***h NOW!"

It's so ********, it's soooo ********.