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10/20/16

A thank you to ImHotPink4ever for sending love and encouragement during a hard time

I will share with you something I rarely do and I juggle with it frequently from day to day...

Depression and Anxiety

I've had depression since I was perhaps 16 and anxiety followed. Because of my weight, which I discussed earlier, I was somewhat depressed over the fact no one would speak to me or befriend me because of who I was on the outside and not on the inside. No, I was not popular, and that brought on anxiety, social anxiety.

Then my family had health issues. From age 16-20 I've dealt with breast cancer to a divorce and then liver failure and a lung collapse. I've been forced into family issues of the sort which have in turn made me extremely anxious. I have, thankfully, been in good health.

From time to time though I will have these spurts of depression which leads to anxiety. Medications help to some degree and at one point I took a pill that worsened my anxiety and thus I had a panic attack (they are not fun and I do not recommend) crying .

In conclusion, yes, I do have terrible anxiety, social anxiety. Talking in front of a crowd, meeting up with someone new, conversing with someone I hardly know and speaking with someone over the phone are a few of my quirks that trigger my anxiety. Plus yelling and fussing from another party such as family members tend to jiggle my wires so to say. Yes, I do feel depressed occasionally and to those who say anxiety and depression are just a joke, who say we use it to attract attention, you are far from wrong. It drains you completely.