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Whines, Rants, & Weasels in Pants (I.E., Random Shtuff)
Some names will be changed in these posts or else nicknames will be used in order to protect the privacy of some people. Also, I whine a lot more than I'd like about some things so I hope you can handle that. If not, move out.
A Personal Avatar Edit Business?
H'um...I started it up when I realized, "Hey, that avatar over there reminds me of someone from a video game my friend Dejah got me obsessed with recently..." So I began editing avatars a bit and, thus far, I've done one for both myself, Marluxia, and Larxene. But where it becomes personal, I suppose, is where I moved into borderline obsession over worrying about someone.
I made an avatar that looks like Kenshin! When I finish up my complete Avatar Edit Advertisement I'll have it in my signature so that whoever reads this can check it out at that point in time. Now if I can only get someone to advertise with me to get it going once I have a few started for examples I'd be ubre happy...

Ugh. I have work tomorrow, then again Friday - Sunday. I'm kind of looking forward to it but I'm kind of not...I have to wash my hair tonight so it looks good for tomorrow, however, which I'm not really looking forward to doing. It's getting too long to want to deal with again. I want to cut it a second time and shorten it just a bit so it's easier to work with when washing it and drying it. (Not to mention putting it up!)
====================================================
~*Personal Ranting Time About Someone...Again*~
I'm becoming more and more worried about you the longer I go without talking to or seeing you. You know that, right? There's not much else that I can do and I'm quite aware of the fact that all this worrying and wishing you'd pop up even just once is hopeless. It's a dream deterred, one I'll never get to realize. I just can't help wishing I could know for certain how you're fairing.
The world can be a very cruel place and I know that quite well. I just don't want it to be -too- cruel to someone I care that much about. Even if it did take me a long time to realize I -do- care that much. Too long, in fact, seeing as it waited to become so obvious to me that you were already gone by the time I did notice the truth about my feelings. Now you probably won't ever see my little confession I left you on your Offline Messages and you definitely won't ever see this. Some people ask, "Why bother if you know it won't get to that person?" All I have to say in response is, "I know it's pointless but I can't help doing it."
In a way it's a fruitless struggle to tell you everything because, as I said above, you'll never see what I have to say about all of this. You're probably off being happy and making a great living for yourself. I've always had the highest hopes and upmost confidence in your abilities. Someone as kind and good-natured as you are doesn't deserve anything but the best out of life. They deserve to achieve everything they work for and more. And, believe you me, it sounds cliché but I'd give you the moon and stars if you wanted them just to see you happy again. Hell—I'd give my immortal soul away to the Devil just to see you again...-PERIOD.- There isn't anything that I wouldn't do if it were possible to see you again. I could die happy right now if I knew you were doing well with your life.
It's just, that's what's eating me up all the time lately: Not being able to know you're okay, and having no one to contact who has contact with you to ask if you're happy. For all I know you could be deathly ill with less than two days to live but I pray to Heaven and back that's not the case...And now look what I've done; I've gone and worried myself about that too.
At any rate, I still love you and I miss you very much even if you'll never see this. And on the off chance that you do see this, I'm sorry if anything I've said here or in previous messages (both to you and in these posts) makes you feel uncomfortable or if you don't like what they say. One can't help how one feels, though, no matter how much I sometimes wish I could. Then I wouldn't worry about you so much and I wouldn't be in this particular predicament with all of these nightmares and worries every single damn night since I realized how I felt about you.

Forgive me, please God, for being so pathetic...





 
 
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