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Do you wish to see the Darkness of my Heart?
Sometimes I cant even stand my own journal writings, are you sure you can? Are you really sure? Just checking before you hit that button down there...
Nightmare...
Ever since the house fire (about three years ago)
I havent been having dreams
although recently I've been getting some here and there
strange thing is that I havent had a nightmres for years
I thought I was past that...

but then this popped up...
I had a nightmare...
it went something like this...

I was back at orchestra camp
only that my friend Taylor who wasnt there was there now
orchestra camp is usually held on campus
and we stay in the dorms on campus

I was playing cards with my friends at school
but then something happened and I got up from our game
and went to drink water
on the way I passed a room which I knew was Taylor's somehow
but as I passed it I heard screaming as if there were people arguing

I thought nothing of it
because she always tells me how much she hates them
and I knew how restrictive they were

So I walk past and drink from the water fountain
then I turn arround and see my friend Riley and a person I know
Chris at an open locker both wearing wet swimming shorts
its kind of weird because this was a locker in the hallway
but I've seen some weird stuff so I dont really care...

Then I look at my watch and it says 9:53 PM
and I say "oh crap I'm gonna be late for dinner"
which is also odd
because dinner was usually arround 6 at the camp
but anyway...

I run past Taylor's room again
to find a crowd trying to peek through the crack in the door
I push my way through to see her lying on her back
on a blue lunch tray (I have no fricking clue dont ask)
with her hair sprawled arround (which is also odd because she has short hair)

someone in the backround says a joke that she was raped or something
and I shake her arm to try and see if she's okay
she wakes up a little disoriented (which isnt odd)
and I tell her its dinner time
then it just sort of cut off after she wakes up and looks at me

I suppose the thing that makes it a nightmare for me...
is that Taylor is one of my best friends...
and I dont know what I'd do if something like that happened to her
I also have a fear of knowing I could have done something earlier to prevent something from happening but I didnt...
I guess thats why I try to help people in LI...

The other thing...was that I hardly ever get a dream
let alone a nightmare
so I'm hoping this means nothing...but it might since I had nightmares before my house burnt down three years ago...





 
 
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