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August 15
Why?
People look at me like this is so easy like i should be SO mature all the time. I grew up havin' a rough life i had to learn things at a young age. Yeah, that causes me to be mature around most people. But it also means i didnt get time to be a kid! Its like I'm not alowed to act my age. I can't even get emotional without yall callin me weak.

Look at the people who have it worse then me. Who have to stay strong. Recently I've had help, been able to show feelings, to act my age. But now everyone looks at me like they don't know me. Do they want me to hold everything? When someone took so much time to make me shw that i really cared? He took time out of his day to help me...

Should I go back and do this all over? Is that why I hurt? Is that why I broke his heart... And let him move on? I'm to late to fix what I did But why does everything feel so wrong. I changed who I was by showing that I cared. People haunt me for that. But when I was mad all the time. People were still dissapointed in me...

Its like I have to change for every person I know. And I can't do it. To many people... And when people want to be like me, which me should they be? Do I even have a normal personality in my life anymore? Why can't I get to a simple point that I want to be at? Is this why I don't have a feeling of peace?

I'm going to give it up, I've let everyone change me to someone I'm not. I wanna be perfect for a simple one person. But what i see he loves is someone who I am not. So I'm walking away from this. If people want to change me they are going to have to deal with the way I am. I always act like I don't care what people think. But I'm always letting them change who I am... I'm not so strong, But i try for certin people in my life. People who know the real me.

People I have know for a while, people have stuck with me Even though I've changed. People who helped me through certin stupid situations. ..My friends, The real ones. I'm grateful for.