-"Taking over me" by Evanescence
"Lithium, don't wanna lock me up inside. Lithium, don't wanna forget how it feels without- Lithium, I wanna stay in love with my sorrow. But oh, God. I wanna let it go."
-"Lithium" by Evanescence
Everyday, I have to forget love's fatal strike. Every single day, I'm struck by the same pain, that for some reason I enjoy. I'm happy to be sad, yet I'm sad that I'm not happy. It doesn't make sense but I feel more comfortable feeling sad. I find no comfort in happiness, probably because happiness is only temporary. I don't want to lose it, but it's already gone. Not much of a choice but to let it go. I'm not even sure if I know what really makes me happy. I have no one reason, but I can't find the one that stays with me forever. Another person is living inside me, holding on to my heart and slowly destroying it. Whenever I walk a few steps, something keeps me from thinking something else. There is something there, that won't leave me alone. Something that wants to hold onto the sorrow. I let it take over whenever I think. A war goes on in my mind, and people only laugh and say I'm being overly dramatic. It's no joke. I don't know who I am.
On Friday, I went to a school dance. Yes, the only music they played was Rap and Hip hop. I felt as though I liked the music, just because everybody else did, even though I despise both Genres. I thought my friends felt the same way about the music, but hearing them say: I love this song! made me realize it was all a joke. They never really did agree with me. I felt like I loved it to, but something finally snapped in my brain, that this was wrong. Although the beat made it sound really cool, I seemed to be the only one listening to the lyrics. That thing inside told me to stop, and understand what I was doing, so I did. That's when my mind went to war, and gave me a massive headache. It's no joke, it's not funny, it's not me. Everything got scrambled up and all I could do was stand there holding my head like nobody was watching. No, I always will stay the way I am without falling to peer pressure. I don't care if the world's against me on it. I know I'm hopefully not the only one.
