|
|
|
January needs to end. Now. I'm having a rough time this month. I was really ready for it at the beginning, and I was going to remain optomistic and all that, even after that week. Small things kept bothering me when I got home. So I'd feel down, and then I'd go school and it'd be a bit better. I'd be happy. Now though, I just want this month to end. I just want to sleep. I can't even remain happy at school. And I don't smile very much right now. I feel so sore. My whole body hurts right now. My eyes have been burning since yesterday, and I can't seem to stop crying. My limbs ache, and I don't know why. I feel so stiff, and I feel so tired. I feel like- like something big hit me multiple times and then left me laying there. I feel drained, like I've got no energy. I can't take people constantly asking me if I'm okay, or what's wrong. I can barely talk as it is, and it was just yesterday. It makes me feel really stupid, like an attention whore. Like the reason I'm so bummed is really dumb, and isn't a good enough reason for me to be this way. I can't think straight or concentrate on anything at all. I can't remember what has happened the past two days, except for right after second period, the exact way everything looked. I feel sluggish, out of place.
There's too many emotions for me to handel well right now. Too much going on for me to be okay, upbeat and everything. Yesterday I cried until it was physically painful to cry. And then I still did. Richard cheered me up a little, but then I had to get off and do my math. I could barely do half of the problem before I'd give up and move on. And then when I went to lay down, I kept crying too. I've been crying like a baby. I can't control my emotions and I keep shaking, even when it's not cold. If I tell somebody that he broke up with me, they're like. "Oh?! You want me to beat him up?" No, I really don't. I'm not mad at him, I'm just a wreck sort of because of this all. He's not a jerk or anything, and it's not like he did it in a bad way. I am a little annoyed that he hasn't explained why. But. People keep rambling on about how guys like to play games and s**t, like they know him. It's making me even more worn down than I already feel. And I already feel like a burnt-out rag doll.
I wish I could stop the world for a week, and just sleep. Sleep, dream, and cry.
Zombie Doll` · Tue Jan 23, 2007 @ 10:17pm · 1 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|