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I told Minx about what happened at the party. I'm glad I did - talking about it really helped, and she gave me some really good advice. I'm going to go into the clinic as soon as I find out where it is... I said it was just girls who were there, but I was kinda... sorta... lying. There were guys, too. I should've just left when I found out that, but I was an idiot and stayed. So it's kind of my fault... But Minx told me it wasn't. It might've been stupid of me to trust him... But I didn't force them to do what they did. Minx was right. It's not my fault. Is it?
But still... I don't know how I'm going to be able to face everyone now. It was so hard to even seem a little normal earlier tonight. And even then both Minxy and Xiguymi noticed that I seemed a bit off.
I'm really worried about going into the clinic... I'm afraid of what they'll find. I don't want to know, but... I have to know. If the worst happened, then... Then I need to figure out what I'm going to do. And even if the worst didn't happen, there are still all sorts of things that could have happened... I need to know so I can take care of it. Whatever happens from here on out is my responsibility. I have to own up to what happened. I can't run from it anymore - I can't run from anything more. I have to face it. I have to stand up to be stronger.
So here's what I've gotta do. First and foremost, I need to take care of my little clinic-related problem. Then I have to focus on getting good grades in school and saving up money. I need to look into getting a job (McDonald's wouldn't hire me. Grr...). I need to get a head start on the exercise program project for health, so it doesn't come back to bite me later. I also have to stop being such a freeloader. I need to figure out a way to help out around the mansion.
I've gotta figure out a backup plan in case the bet with my mom doesn't end in my favor. If she wins, then I'll have to stay in Twilight Town to take care of her until she dies. But if I win, then I get to stay where I want, do what I want - I get to officially take charge of my life. She'll be expecting me to get straight A's though. I got my semester report card yesterday and I'm getting straight A's right now, so I just have to keep it up for another half a year. I can so do this.
Let's see... My birthday is in a month. April 1st. I'm almost sixteen - it's almost a scary thought. I still feel like I'm ten years old at the oldest. I'm looking forward to turning sixteen though, 'cause then I can officially drive. That'll be fun, and it will mean I'll have steady transportation to get me to work if I can find a job... 'Course, I'm going to need to save up to get a car, or something. But I'm sure it'll all work out in the end. Right? I've gotta believe that.
I'm worried about Roxas... I haven't seen him at all today. Usually he pops in at least once. I hope nothing's happened.
Mm... My lookalike. I saw her earlier, but she didn't say anything to me - which is good! If she'd tried to talk to me, I don't know if I'd be able to keep myself from slapping her. I really don't.
Ceiphid is stupid and if she thinks her idiotic claims will be able to turn us against Kyomi, she's got another thing coming. And if she tries to hurt Kyomi again, she's going to wish she'd never been born.
...I say that, but I'm not sure if I could really back that up. I really need to get some form of training.
Oh! My "tormentors" from a few days ago are now apparently my friends. It's kinda strange how it happened, really... They thought that their usual victim was absent today, so they were starting in on me when she came out from the locker rooms and smacked them on their heads. They started in on her, then, and she handled it so well even thinking back on it surprises me. At some point or another, they started being nice to me and invited me to have lunch with them on the way home from school after my rehearsal, since Blair (their usual victim) had volleyball practice that ended at about the same time my rehearsal did and they were going to wait for her anyway. We went to Taco Bell.
I never would've thought they would be my friends... I didn't think they liked people like me. But Blair said that if they bothered me, she would personally beat them to a pulp. I think she could, too. She's scary strong. Maybe I should ask her to train me...
Health class was worse than usual today. I'm afraid that I'm gonna snap tomorrow if he keeps it up. Stupid pervert.
Oh... I'd better wrap this up. It's getting kinda long. Ha ha?
Love, Olette.
a responsible girl · Fri Mar 02, 2007 @ 06:43am · 1 Comments |
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