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So here i sit at the circ desk of the library at work |
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As i sit here and can't help but wait for my eyes to finally droop down and permantely close, i try and concentrate on the words in front of me on the pages of this book that i'm reading. However, the thing is that one thing always leads to another and there's always someone who wants to see me and hang out with me after work, so my sleeping patterns have been thrown off enormously.
Therefore, as I dreaded coming in to work today, because I have to stay so late...I can't help but think about last night and all the events that occured. Well, now that I think about it, it's more like all the events that took place this weekend and everything that I've gotten involved with and the people that i've gotten involved with. No matter, they are my friends and yes I should beware those that use that term too loosely. I am aware of those people. Hence, I refrain from being around them.
Ahh...yes...I am droning on about absoulutely nothing, yet something. Paradoxical concept, if you will. Something more along the lines of being rather too elusive about the way that i phrase my sentences and yet not. All in all, this has been an adventurous week. Money spent, sleep lost, lust satiated and yes even friends abandonned...feelings hurt, arguments fought and the whole fireworks thing that I thought was just a myth or something...but was suprisingly confirmed.
Of all that has happened, there has been nothing more interesting than the beginning of a few romantic relationships that just seemed to blossom overnight. Oddly enough though, the real question lies within the back of my head where I can't help but ponder that although one may want something more, will the other be able to fufill that request? True, there must be communiction or there is nothing to look forward to but the sex, but it's not even about that. It's about being able to be with someone that you feel comfortable with and that you can relate to. That whole love thing can rear it's ugly face later and please not today, because honestly I can't speak those words. No, not yet. I need more time.
You know what I really need? Right now, a Grande Mocha Frapp from Starbucks. Then, I will be able to again become coherent and not delerious with dreamlike scenes bouncing under my eyelids. Yeah, well besides that...seriously though....I need to stop over annylzing everything. It's just a habit that I find so hard to break and there's always that self doubt that hangs over me like a dark nimbu-stratus raincloud ready to just pour it's misery down upon me....
stare ...yes, i'm so dramatic, i know, but hey i'm artist. what do you expect? the world is nothing but rose colred to us until we take off our cheap sunglasses and realize that without them, this place in which we live is pretty boring. rolleyes
 Katsura1031 · Fri Dec 16, 2005 @ 07:57pm · 0 Comments |
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