Ugh this day has been awful, I've been enduring tooth pain for about a week and I get in to see the Dentist and they cannot do the bloody root canal for another few weeks and he wants me to stay on this painkiller which is making me horribly ill and unpleasant and I've been trying to get it off my mind with a light Rp session in the chatrooms with some people I met a few days ago. It worked for the most part until Jared informed me Feloneus wanted to chat and I didn't feel like chatting with him, I was cranky and not in the mood or mindset for us, I didn't want to focus on anything real I wanted to stay wrapped up in the roleplay hopefully to get my mind off my tooth and sickness.
And now I've upset him again. :sigh: I'm not sure how to explain myself about it either but I know he's not happy, and I don't like making him unhappy though I seem to do it often without meaning to. And I don't have an excuse for it, I just....it's hard to explain, I just want to be in the perfect mood when I talk to him, I don't want our interaction to be forced or have any pressure or things holding me back, I want to be fully healthy and mentally prepared to really give our conversations and interactions my all. But I never seem to have all of that lately with all that's been happening so I only manage to Pm him a few times and I know that's not enough...
I'm not sure what to say to him....I don't think he'll understand, I don't even understand why I am like this.
View User's Journal
Sesshoumaru's thoughts
Written thoughts and feelings
 |
~Lord of the Western Lands~
