Lately I've had this bad feeling that I'm going to loose someone I love. Society's standards and morals say that what I'm doing is wrong and I can't change my feelings. Love is love. No matter how you look at it. I've been in love with this amazing guy & I know I always will love him, but lately I feel like I'm loosing him.. He tells me everyday we talk that I will never loose him and he will always love me but my feelings of fear always come true and I'm so scared that this one will. I don't know who I would be without him in my life. My friend judge me cause of how I feel. Society shuns me for what I believe & how I feel, but the fact of the matter is that I'm in love with him. He keeps me sane for more of a better word. I'm supposed to go & see him in November, but, one half of me is scared to the point where I'm going to come up with an excuse to not to go & the other half of me is counting down the days to when I'll be in his arms. He's put me through all kinds of hell, but at the same time he's saved me in a way every person should feel. He's my other half, soul mate, best friend, and the love of my life. I know, say what you will: "your young" "there are other fish in the sea" "he's not the only guy out there" whatever you have to say, save it I don't want to hear it. I'm scared to death of loosing him. I cry myself to sleep when I don't get to say good night to him.. He makes me so mad to the point where I don't even want to talk to him anymore & then he says something that makes me laugh, smile, or blush & I forget why I'm mad at him. To me there is no other guy out there & there isn't anyone I crave more to be with. When I'm not talking to him I'm so scared that he's going to get hurt or be in trouble. Right now he doesn't have the cell phone he uses so I'm scared that he will move on from me & he won't love me anymore.. He can brighten up my day with a simple good morning. I feel like I can talk to him about anything, & not talking to him now is killing me inside. I can't help but think & wonder if he's thinking about me or worrying about me or if he's even still in love with me.. My paranoia is getting the best of me.. & I hate it.. I'm going insane with out him.
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My Rambling Thoughts
Just a place i like to express myself & say what I'm feeling & say how I feel about certain subjects
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