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Christmas is fun,
don't deny it.
Snowballs as big as the sun,
flies around.
Together we celebrate Christmas,
with a unknown air of joy,
that is rarely seen.
- by BrokenHearted Asian |
- Holiday Poem Contest
- | Submitted on 12/07/2008 |
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- Title: Christmas fun
- Artist: BrokenHearted Asian
- Description:
- Date: 12/07/2008
- Tags: christmas
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Comments (3 Comments)
- alentoursofmadness - 07/17/2010
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It was sweet, it was cute, and it was enjoyable.. however, I would not want to read it again as a poem. I know, sounds harsh, but there's construction here, I promise.
When you write a poem, you need to decide whether you are going to rhyme with it, or you are not. If you do, hell even if you DON'T, you still have to work on syllable placement. I'm giving you a 2/5 on this one. It was a good read, but as a fellow writer, I have to say "Keep trying." - Report As Spam
- Xi-iiRawrYou-iX - 07/19/2009
- aww that is sweet
- Report As Spam
- Sweet sakura815 - 03/07/2009
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how nice
- Report As Spam
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