• Mom started cooking the dinner an hour late
    (At least it was on the proper date)
    In the center of it all lay a lopsided tree
    (Not in a decorative sense, I mean actually)
    Mom and Dad are passing the gifts around
    (Does anyone but me hear that creaking sound??)
    We unwrap our gifts, we squeal in delight
    (A book I already own and new reading light)
    Dinner should be done cooking, Mom goes to see
    (That smell...it can't be...please say it's just me...)
    Out to the table, Mom drops the pan with a slam
    (Apparently, the charcoal lump there is the ham)
    At that very moment, not a moment before
    ( It started when my Mom stomped on her way out the door)
    Down came the tree, onto the table, onto the meal
    (Which is now covered in pine needles, our tree was REAL)
    I did the only thing that I could to save our holiday
    (I took everyone out to dinner, and offered to pay)