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Down the street
sit lonely trees
old and weary
do they shed there leaves
but across the way
sitting on a stone
is a jolly fellow
sitting all alone
above him there is star
with it's holy light
brilliantly shining
throughout the night
gathering about
are small forms
they are children
out side their dorms
around the star
the sky is cloudy
but around the man
the children are not rowdy
in silence they sit
fearful they are
of dangers untold
next door inside the bar
- by Maru_Imako |
- Holiday Poem Contest
- | Submitted on 12/14/2008 |
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- Title: The Beginnings of Christmas
- Artist: Maru_Imako
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Description:
It is before it snows, when the children are beginning to be anxious about Christmas
- Date: 12/14/2008
- Tags: beginnings christmas
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Comments (5 Comments)
- Zynd the Lucky - 06/29/2009
- ah, forget what evil9tailednija says mate; incredible poem.
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- kyoske19 - 05/25/2009
- good
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- evil9TailedNinja - 03/01/2009
- I hate your poem
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- QueeniePMonkey - 12/22/2008
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Very nice, I like the poem, but I have to take away a point for grammar and spelling. (You had a lot of the wrong homonyms. It's "their" not "there" and "its"- no apostrophe- not "it's".) Outside is one word, and you neglected capitalization.
I also don't understand the ending. You start out, talking about the lonely trees, a jolly man, and then you add religion, and then talk about a bar? - Report As Spam
- xips - 12/19/2008
- wow totally paints the picture of an orphanage in the slums... 5* I love the imagery. (vote on my poems/avy?)
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